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The Shy Singer
#2 – March 2005 ~~ VIKKI FLAWITH, SINGER/SONGWRITER & VOICE TEACHER, VICTORIA, BC

Hi! Here I am in your email box again :)

Hot news this month: my music was played on a fairly well-known internet radio show that supports indie artists; and the Society of Composers, Authors & Music Publishers of Canada (SOCAN) informs me that 'my application for writer membership has been approved'!

The rough 'acoustic cut' of my new ballad, 'Wilted Heart', is jumped to #4 on Soundclick's Country-Pop charts yesterday, rising from #79 to #13 in the Country charts!  Yeah!

Embracing a Spirit of Play as Part of Daily Adult Life

Not so very long ago, I spent night after night with ‘middle insomnia’. I would go to bed, and go to sleep, and then wake up at 2:00 a.m., and lie there, going over and over again in my head the events of the previous days and weeks... frustrated and angry with situations at work and at home.

I spent most of my time and energy focusing on what had happened. I’d imagine what I should have said, or done. Or I’d imagine what might happen the next day or the next time, and as I experienced my imaginings, my stress level would rise and my adrenal glands would start pumping, and pretty soon I felt just as angry and frustrated at 3:00 a.m. as I had at work the day before!

I was really attached to my emotional baggage of the day befores and day afters. Yet, as long as I was focusing on what had happened or might happen, I took no action in the present. I saw the laundry, but felt so stressed that I just couldn’t do it. I saw the piano, but felt so angry I just wanted to sit and watch TV and bury myself in trivia. I saw the bills, but couldn’t bring myself to sit down with my chequebook and wrestle with my budget.

Even after I’d stopped working at the unhealthy place I’d been at, I continued to think the same way. I got myself to the place where I was so worried about my financial situation I just couldn’t sleep, night after night. I wrote about it non-stop in my morning pages. It seemed like it was all I thought about, talked about. My anxiety level was just as high as it had been when I was working for The Corporation. But the only person I could blame for it was me.

When I was a kid, I had an invisible friend who lived in the bathtub. I would go in and sit, and talk to her about all my problems. I imagined her responses and answered her questions. I remember feeling like it was great to have someone understanding to talk to. Someone who got me.

Somehow, in my adult search for a solution to my anxiety, I reverted back to this childlike state and allowed myself to talk to my Self in a new way. When my thoughts started to focus on how I would survive in the future, I reassured my Self by saying with compassion, “Right now, in this moment, I am okay. I have a comfortable bed, food in the fridge, hydro, friends I can call, music I can play. In this moment, I am okay.” And do you know, by talking to my Self like this whenever the worry goblin appeared, I found I was able to detach myself from my worries. Slowly, day by day, week by week. Bills came, and I handled them. My girlfriend would call and invite me to do laundry with her. I began writing music again. Night came, and I slept!

When we become emotionally attached to outcomes, to the way the past was or the future might be, we take our attention away from the now. But yet, very simply, like child knows, the only thing we really have is the now. The only effect we can have on the future is what we do now. If I want to have a cleaner house, then, in the now, I find 5 minutes to tidy one thing. Then I can play. I sit down for 5 minutes and pay my bills. Then I can sing. I do the dishes while the kettle boils for tea. Then I can read.

I pay myself in joyful activity for the chores I do, trusting that the 5-minute walk, the 5-minute sweep, the 5-minute attention to some task that needs to be done, is enough.  If I do my 5-minutes on this, that, and the other every day this week, will I not achieve more – and feel more happy with myself – by the end of the week?

You have an artist child within you.  That child needs unconditional love from you. She or he needs you to open up to the possibility that life can be joyful, that art can be play, that having fun is cool. That you can live life, 5 minutes at a time. Don’t wait until you have a big block of time free. Just start. Just do a little. Right now. Many of my paintings came about 5 minutes at a time! Vocal practice, 5 minutes here and there, got me into the opera!

TOUCHSTONES:
"Make a quick list of things you love, happiness touchstones for you. River rocks worn smooth, willow trees, cornflowers, chicory, real Italian bread, homemade vegetable soup...” [The Artist’s Way]

What I’d like to challenge you to do is take your artistic practice – the time you need to sing, the time you need to write, to be by yourself, and hold these times as really special, as special as recess used to be when we were kids. Try to think of exercising your voice as exercising your spirit of play, as time out from the seriousness of life and its obligations. When time comes to do your serenity break or singing or painting or writing or walking, think like a child: “Yeah!! I can play now!”

LISTEN TO MY WORKS-IN-PROGRESS:
http://www.soundclick.com/vikkiflawith

READ MY SONGWRITING JOURNAL:
http://theshysinger-songwriter.blogspot.com

A FINAL THOUGHT:

“Creative work is play. It is free speculation using the materials of one’s chosen form.”

~Stephen Nachmanovitch

NOTES & LINKS:

Alexander Technique: “teaches a person to recognize and change habits that interfere with well integrated functioning. The student is guided by the teacher's tactile and verbal cues, which are designed to elicit a specific reorganization of the body, primarily focused on the head to spine relationship. The student participates in a new kinesthetic experience, allowing the natural ease of movement to emerge.” Gwen Dobie is a well-respected practitioner of AT and is located in James Bay. Give her a ring at 389-0611 for an appointment - http://www.islandnet.com/~gdobie

Demo Recording:  DJ Promotions Recording Studio, located in Brentwood Bay, offers a variety of services. Producer Dan Spedding is a terrific guitarist, a creative and versatile musician, and an all-around nice guy. Check out his website, or contact him at 818-4568 - http://www.djpromotions.net

Do It All Entertainment:  Drew Arrington is my favourite karaoke host, he's a singing D.J. too. Check out his site for dates & places - http://www.doitall.ca  -  He's just started Wed nights, 8-12 pm, at the Elephant & Castle in the Bay Centre.  I'll be there this Wednesday, March 16th - come along and join the fun!

Namaste B&B: Located on the harbour in beautiful Ucluelet, BC. Only a short drive to Long Beach & Tofino, this wonderful rustic B&B is owned and operated by sculptor Linda Lemay. I highly recommend it! Give her a call at 250-726-2580 anytime you plan a trip to the Island's gorgeous west coast.

Songwriters Association of Canada – www.songwriters.ca
Taxi – www.taxi.com – good articles on songwriting & the music biz

Vikki Flawith, Singer/Songwriter & Voice Teacher

"What I really want my students to 'get' from my studio is the knowledge that the life of an artist is a process. We must find time for our art in our daily lives, for it is when we are in the act of creating, or studying (practicing) that we affect what is unseen in us. The act of 'doing' over and over again trains the subconscious to do things in a new, more holistic and natural way. Thus each 'doing' is a tiny but transformative event on the path to self-discovery and creativity. Each step, each practice, each song, each lesson, each performance, is part of a whole -- a joyfully artistic life."

Email: vflawith@islandnet.com

Web: www.theshysinger.com