July 27, 2006, Issue #63
Wholeness Revisited

In this Issue

New Offerings

Blockbusting 101

Spiral Staircase

"Other coaches might be talented, or well-trained in techniques but Louise is GIFTED in what she does. It's a completely different experience that breaks through FAST!" -- Anthony Warren, Executive Coach, London, UK

Food for Thought

Keep it Simple

DESERVABILITY TREATMENT

Feature Article

Wholeness Revisited

The 5 Steps to Wholeness

1. Accept responsibility for your life.
   
   Simply put, you can not claim the power to change your life if you do not accept the responsibility for creating the life you are in. Your actions AND/OR beliefs ultimately (and often unconsciously) have a direct bearing on your life today. Don't be someone things happen to or for (victim or child). If you've never thought of life this way before, it can seem like quite a stretch. Yet we all know people who make things happen despite incredible odds. They're no different than you or I, except very often in the way they approach life. You've probably heard the phrase 'mind over matter'. This concept is just an extension of that phrase.
   
   I'd also like to add that there are some very negative events that most of us would never consciously choose. I believe in accepting responsibility even for those. This is linked to my belief that we are all here for a purpose and the lessons of the first half of our life (and the repeated lessons later on in life) are our unconscious preparation to live our life purpose to the maximum effectiveness. Over and over again, I have seen evidence that once a person gets clarity about their life purpose, we begin to understand the deeper meaning and lesson of those events.
   
   
2. Focus on the Eight Elements
   
   This step focuses on the 8 life elements that can interfere with creating the life we want. I believe that with enough of the following elements to satisfy our needs and wants, nothing would stop us from reaching our fullest potential, so creating reserves of the following elements is critical to the process.
   
   1. Time
      When we have all the time we need and want, we are calm and focused. In addition to having the time to accomplish what we want, this element also includes time for ourselves.
   2. Space
      Space includes not only the state of our home or other environments, but also the invisible zone that surrounds our body. This zone typically expands or contracts depending on where we are and how comfortable we feel.
   3. Love
      Having all the love we need or want involves feeling wanted, loved and included. We can be loved by one person or a community. This includes romantic love, spiritual love and all other forms of affection and companionship.
   4. Money
      Money includes money (incoming and invested) and the things that money represents and supplies. This includes security, stability, houses, cars and all the other stuff we buy with it. In addition, it includes our relationship with money. While true for all the elements, the idea of deserving (or not deserving) comes up most frequently around love and money.
   5. Vitality
      Vitality encompasses health, energy and a zest for life. It is not just lack of illness or lack of stress. There is also dynamic appreciation and enjoyment of life that pervades everything we do.
   6. Purposeful Action
      Purposeful action is just that: somewhere in our lives there is enough focused activity that gives us a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment, a sense of a job well done. It can be expressed in our careers, our families, or our communities; it can be creative, practical, or political; it can be paid or volunteered. The possibilities are endless, but it must be present in some form.
   7. Strong Sense of Self
      It is important to take the time to identify your core values, unmet needs, standards, boundaries, life purpose, mission and beliefs, both supportive and non-supportive. As you get clearer about 'who' you are, you awaken to your possibilities. Living 'in' integrity for me means my actions match my words which match my beliefs. I feel that living in integrity is like getting rid of the bumps and holes in the surface of the road. There is still a path to travel, but the ride is smooth and enjoyable.
   8. Positive Self Regard
      This is a combination of self-esteem, self-love, and self-care. Without a positive, balanced and healthy self-regard, it appears to be impossible to maximize the opportunities available when reserves of the other 7 elements are present.


3. Complete the Past.
   
   Release the people, places and things that don't affirm who you are today. Finish whatever needs to be finished and make a conscious choice to not finish the rest. Heal what needs to be healed and move forward into today. If you are still talking about something that happened ten years ago, it DID affect you. Write a letter, make a phone call, confront the fear and the pain. Understand that the majority of people who negatively impacted your life by a thoughtless act or words were only doing the best they could at the time. For those few who maliciously and consciously hurt you, recognize their actions were a result of their experiences and beliefs about them and not about you. Don't allow them to continue to hurt you today.



4. Plan for the Future
   
   Develop goals, game plans, and ideal qualities of everything you want to create in your life. Use visualization and other techniques to cement the picture firmly in your mind. We recently bought a poster that says "Effort and courage are not enough without purpose and direction". Having a detailed plan gives that sense of purpose and direction. When you know where you want to go, it's easy to make better decisions in the moment. Having a plan also helps us create a better plan. It's important to remember that plans are living, breathing elements. They are NOT written in stone. By using all the information you get on a daily basis, you are able to tweak and refine your plans as you go.



5. Live in the present.
   
   THIS is where it all happens. In each moment, you are presented with choices. Making clear, conscious choices based on all the information you have today is key to living the life you want. You create your life, each moment of each day. You make choices that take you closer or further away from your goals. It's also important to recognize that making clear conscious decisions to not do something is 100% healthier than drifting towards or away from something. (You'll read more about this in this issue's Attraction Principle, "See how perfect the present really is".)

Related Quotes

Wholeness Revisited

Welcome Mat Guest Article

Retaining Top Performers
by Anthony Warren

Talent shortage is a real business issue, whatever the size and type of your business. Even though all pointers seem to indicate that the shortage of top talent is expected to get worse, many organisations still persist with 1990s attitudes and actions – and so adversely impact their own bottom line. With the speed of change accelerating, organisations need the best talent to survive - let alone prosper.

Top ten actions to retain talent – how does your organisation rate on the checklist below?

1. Agree the blueprint!
Have a talent retention plan that is endorsed and owned by the key management in each location and function. Top management has to buy in seriously and so do the managers at the coal face so that the line is “held”.

2. Put your resources where your mouth is
Reward managers for retaining and developing staff using the plan, and not just quarterly performance. We have experience of a COO who talked for ten minutes on the necessity of getting the quarter figures, before sitting down, getting up again and saying, “Oh and don’t forget the long-term!”. Managers respond to stimuli like anyone else. Make sure they have good reasons to develop staff into other jobs in the company.

3. Go broad
Set up a RANGE of communication systems and vehicles to ensure employees are involved and know the matter. Too often the “fix-it” mentality only puts in a group meeting or infrequent one–to-ones depending on the comfort level of the managers. Relationships are strongest when there is a range of formal and informal channels actively nurtured and used. Our view is that this investment of time is returned manifold by reducing time spent on work that is misdirected or irrelevant, and on behaviour that is unhelpful.

4. Be consistent
Employees have long memories. They remember when they took a beating when there was the downturn. If you stopped talking with them then, it’s too late to start talking when you need them. They will leave when the market improves if you do little.

5. For goodness sake delegate!
Our perception is that people are more frightened of delegating than ever before. They fear being pushed aside, they fear a subordinate might make a mistake that they end up paying for, they resent the time it takes to explain what to do and follow-up. This is high cost for the firm as everyone ends up working at a level one or two down from where they should. Essential longer term functions get neglected and employees get demotivated when not stretched. Introduce a culture where delegation is the norm not the exception.

6. Treat employees as a loyal customer should be
Successful organisations treat employees as well as their customers. After all, they have a choice – or soon will from the competition if you are complacent. Make sure that the organisation lines up employee values with the company’s mission. Ensure employees get a chance to connect with end results that they can be proud of. Know your employees’ monetary and non-monetary aspirations and figure out reasonable compromises. Design work around what they want – variety or stability, independence or routine – unless it compromises the company mission.

7. Make sure you communicate a credible future
People follow leaders who offer a credible future they want. Past history is often just that – past. Commenting on a surprise election result, a PR friend said, “Well if you have to choose between a corpse and a sleazebag, at least the sleazebag offers a future.” Make sure everyone knows the vision and strategy for the future AND their part in it. Don’t assume they know.

8. Create success on new moves
Ensure that newly hired and newly promoted staff have everything they need to be successful and productive. Professional executive coaches - whether internal or external - can provide the short term intervention that is needed to complement the line manager’s efforts. Assisting the new appointee with their Personal Brand is a great way of communicating what they are about effectively and building their confidence.

9. Think of the chess move after next
Know what rival employers are likely to offer and pre-empt it, or have the response ready. Just like a chess game, think of their move not just your own. Ensure that employees understand the whole package they will be giving up, not just focus on money. The whole package can include future work opportunities, more or less responsibility, and so on. Sometimes employees don’t realise the issue they are leaving over is endemic to the industry. Have that conversation before it is needed.

10. Exit interviews – the truth is in there!
Set up exit interviews independent of the line manager but don’t overdo their importance. Like the X-files “the truth is in there” but can be buried under politeness, fear of burning bridges, desire for revenge or grandstanding. Create a culture where these conversations are at an adult level – there is no point beating a committed line manager with criticism from a vindictive ex-employee that the organisation is well rid off!

Working Towards Wholeness Action Step

Wholeness Key: Focus on the Elements
Action Step: Using Affirmations with the Elements

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