Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter
DECEMBER 2, 2009
FreeWillAstrology.com
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"I've told you a million times not to exaggerate. I really
get antsy when you refuse to be patient. If you don't stop berating
yourself, I'm going to have to cut you down to size. I'm sick
and tired of you emphasizing the dark side of everything. I swear
I'll lose my freaking temper and do something stupid if you don't
stop making threats."
- PRONOIA
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The revised and expanded version of my book PRONOIA IS THE
ANTIDOTE FOR PARANOIA is available at Amazon: tinyurl.com/lxpnyt
Here are a couple of testimonials:
"With his book PRONOIA -- an instant pop classic
-- Rob Brezsny offers a positive, participatory, proactive vision
of the workings of our inner and outer universe, which will only
give us as much pleasure, love, and ecstasy as we are prepared
to accept."
- Daniel Pinchbeck, author of 2012: The Return of Quetzalcoatl
"I dig Rob Brezsny for his powerful yet playful insights,
his poetry, and his humor . . . I salute him for his dedication
to inspiration."
- Jason Mraz, singer-songwriter
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Below is a book excerpt. To get the full effect, including a
picture of the Medicine Spell itself, go here: bit.ly/7AnA6W
HOMEOPATHIC MEDICINE SPELL
Being a devotee of pronoia doesn't mean you will never have another
difficult or painful experience. It doesn't obligate you to pretend
that everything is perfectly right with the world. You don't have
to cover your eyes whenever you come into proximity to a daily
newspaper.
On the other hand, we're not going to waste our valuable space
or your precious energy by giving equal time to stories of tragedy,
failure, and tumult. They get far more than their fair share of
attention everywhere else. Future historians might even conclude
that our age suffered from a collective obsessive-compulsive disorder:
the pathological need to repetitively seek out reasons for how
bad life is.
Still, we feel the need to push a bit further in our acknowledgment
of all the confusing evils of the world. We realize that what
we've said so far may not be sufficient to satisfy the paranoid
cynics, who include among their number many well-respected thinkers.
Unless we demonstrate that we have some mastery of their ideology,
they'll dismiss us as intellectual pussies. They will need proof
that we're familiar with the data they favor.
We've decided, therefore, to launch a preemptive strike that
will make it harder for the paranoids to dismiss us pronoiacs
as naive optimists. On the next page and at four other places
in this book, we've created Homeopathic Medicine Spells. They're
designed to recognize the evils of the world, but in a controlled
manner that prevents them from poisoning you. In this way, we
can also practice what we preach, subverting any tendencies we
might have toward fanaticism and unilateralism.
Each Homeopathic Medicine Spell consists of a contained space
within which lies a recitation of Very Bad Things. The border
around each space is a magical seal that we consecrated during
a ritual invocation of the Cackling Goddess Who Eternally Creates
Us Anew. Inspired through communion with Her fierce jokes, we
also surrounded each seal with good mojo in the form of word charms
and talismanic symbols.
As you gaze at the Homeopathic Medicine Spells, you'll be building
up your protection against the dangers named inside the contained
space. You'll also get intuitions about how to dissolve the pop
nihilistic toxins within you that resonate with those dangers.
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WANT ME TO WRITE A BLESSING IN YOUR COPY OF PRONOIA?
Buy a copy of the book and mail to me. I'll autograph it and
inscribe it with a rowdy blessing, and then I'll send it back
to you.
You've got to provide me with a self-addressed envelope or package
that's big enough to hold the book
AND
the envelope or package must be stamped with $3.16 postage if
you want it sent back to you by Media Mail, or with $11.95 postage
if you want it sent by Priority Mail.
If you want me to autograph and inscribe more than one book,
send the appropriate packaging and stamps.
If you live in Canada, send $10 Canadian worth of International
Reply Coupons per book, in addition to the self-addressed envelope
or package. This will allow for First-Class delivery. If you want
Priority Mail delivery, enclose $26 worth of coupons.
Here's the address to send the books you want me to sign: P.O.
Box 4399, San Rafael, CA 94913.
This offer is good though December 18.
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MORE PRONOIA RESOURCES:
HOW MUCH ARE YOU WILLING TO SPEND TO BE HAPPY?
Psychological Therapy 32 Times More Cost Effective at Increasing
Happiness Than Money
bit.ly/7wyFBw
MAYBE THERE ARE STRATEGIES FOR CULTIVATING HAPPINESS THAT YOU
HAVEN'T TRIED YET
Lucid Dreaming Can Give You Access to Inside Information
bit.ly/5ii1lh
PEOPLE ARE WORKING BEHIND THE SCENES TO IMPROVE YOUR WORLD
New Device Can Wipe Out Superbugs
bit.ly/7HjaqL
(Note: I endorse these because I like them. They are not advertisements,
and I get no kickbacks.)
Please tell me your own personal nominations for PRONOIA RESOURCES.
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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
Week beginning December 3
Copyright 2009 by Rob Brezsny
FreeWillAstrology.com
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21):
"Dear Rob: I love to be proven wrong. That's not an ironic
statement. I actually get excited and feel creative when I acquire
new information that shows me I've been operating under a misunderstanding.
One of my very favorite life moments occurs when I am convincingly
liberated from a negative opinion I've been harboring about someone.
As you can tell, I'm quite proud of this quality. The way I see
it, emotional wealth and psychological health involve having so
much self-respect that I don't need to be right all the time.
-Sagittarian Freedom Fighter." Dear Freedom Fighter: Thanks
for your testimony. The capacity you described is one that many
Sagittarians will be poised to expand in 2010. And this is an
excellent week for them to start getting the hang of it.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19):
In an early version of the tale of Pinocchio, friendly woodpeckers
chiseled his nose back to its original size after it had grown
enormous from his incorrigible lying. From a metaphorical perspective,
Capricorn, a comparable development may soon occur in your own
life. A benevolent (if somewhat rough) intervention akin to the
woodpeckers' assistance will shrink an overgrown, top-heavy part
of your attitude, allowing you to proceed to the next chapter
of your story with streamlined grace.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18):
"There is light enough for those who wish to see,"
wrote French philosopher Blaise Pascal, "and darkness enough
for those of the opposite disposition." I'm hoping you will
align yourself with the first group in the coming week, Aquarius.
More than ever before, what you choose to focus on will come rushing
in to meet you, touch you, teach you, and prompt you to respond.
Even if all the smart people you know seem to be drunk on the
darkness, I encourage you to be a brave rebel who insists on equal
time for the light.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20):
White dwarfs are small and extremely dense stars. They're typically
no bigger than the Earth but as heavy as the sun. You currently
have a resemblance to one of those concentrated balls of pure
intensity. I have rarely seen you offering so much bang for the
buck. You are as flavorful as chocolate mousse, as piercing as
the scent of eucalyptus, as lustrous as a fireworks display on
a moonless night. Personally, I'm quite attracted to your saucy
and zesty emanations, and I think most people with strong egos
will be. But some underachievers with lower self-esteem may regard
you as being more like astringent medicine. My advice: Gravitate
toward those who like you to be powerful.
ARIES (March 21-April 19):
When Carolee Schneeman was a kid, her extravagant adoration of
nature earned her the nickname "mad pantheist." Later,
during her career as a visual artist, she described her relationship
with the world this way: "I assume the senses crave sources
of maximum information, that the eye benefits by exercise, stretch,
and expansion towards materials of complexity and substance."
I hope that you're attracted to that perspective right now, Aries.
To be in most productive alignment with the cosmic rhythms, you
should be in a state of nearly ecstatic openness, hungry to be
stretched -- like a mad pantheist.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20):
"Dear Rob: Last night my son and I were star-gazing. When
we focused on the constellation Cassiopeia, an owl started hooting.
Then a brilliant shooting star zipped by as a huge bat flew right
over our heads. Was this a bad omen? Bats are creepy -- associated
with vampires. And in Greek mythology Cassiopeia got divine punishment
because she bragged that she and her daughter were more beautiful
than the sea god's daughters. But I don't know, maybe this blast
of odd events was a good omen. Owls are symbols of wisdom and
shooting stars are lucky, right? What do you think? Are we blessed
or cursed? -Spooked Taurus." Dear Spooked: The question of
whether it's good or bad luck is irrelevant. Here's what's important:
You Tauruses are in a phase when the hidden workings of things
will be shown to you -- the mysterious magic that's always bubbling
below the surface but that is usually not visible.
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LISTEN TO AN EXPANDED HOROSCOPE
In addition to the horoscopes you're reading here, I create more
in-depth audio horoscopes for your inspiration. Find out more
at RealAstrology.com.
The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888
or 1-900-950-7700.
"Your Expanded Audio Horoscopes provide me with the Rest
of the Story. I'm not necessarily a believer in the scientific
accuracy of astrology, but I do think you've got a lot of practical
wisdom to impart."
- M. Tennenbaum, New York
"No one knows more about me than me. But you're right up
there near the top of the list of people who do understand something
about how I tick. How is that possible?"
- R. Goren, Albuquerque
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GEMINI (May 21-June 20):
The week ahead will be a ripe time to pull off magic reversals.
May I suggest that you try to transform dishwater greys into sparkling
golds? Or how about recycling the dead energy of a lost cause
in such a way as to generate raw fuel for a fresh start? I'm confident,
Gemini, that you'll be able to discover treasure hidden in the
trash, and that you'll find a way to unleash the creative zeal
that has been trapped inside polite numbness. Now ponder this
riddle, please: Do you think there's any mystical significance
in the fact that the word "stressed" is "desserts"
spelled backwards?
CANCER (June 21-July 22):
Lately you remind me of the person Robert Hass describes in his
poem "Time and Materials": "someone falling down
and getting up and running and falling and getting up." I'm
sending you my compassion for the times you fall down, and my
admiration for the times you get up, and my excitement for the
times you run. It has probably become clear to you by now that
the falling down isn't a shameful thing to be cursed, but rather
is an instrumental part of the learning process that is teaching
you marvelous secrets about getting back up and running.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22):
"I burn for no reason, like a lantern in daylight,"
writes poet Joseph Lease. I think that's a succinct formulation
of one of your central issues, Leo. Burning for no reason, like
a lantern in the daylight, can be the cause of either failure
or success for you, depending on subtle differences of emphasis.
This is how it can be failure: When you're mindlessly and wastefully
burning through your prodigious reserves of fuel without any concern
for the benefits it may provide you and others. This is how it
can be success: When you are exuberant and self-disciplined in
shining your light and radiating your warmth just because it feels
so good and so right and so healthy, and without any thought about
whether it's "useful" to anyone.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):
In one of his short poems, John Averill (twitter.com/wiremesa)
describes a scene that I think captures the essence of your current
astrological omens: "Today is the day of the photo of moonrise
over Havana in a book on a shelf in the snowbound cabin."
Here's a clue about what it means: The snowbound cabin is where
you are right now in your life. The moonrise over Havana is where
you could be early in 2010. How do you get there from here?
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22):
An estuary is a bay where the salt water of a sea mixes with
the fresh water of rivers. These days you remind me of such a
place. You are two-toned, Libra. You're dual-purpose and double-tracked.
You're a hybrid blend of the yes and the no, the give and the
take, the extravagant and the traditional. And somehow this has
been working out pretty well for you. You're not so much a dysfunctional
contradiction as an interesting juxtaposition. You're not being
crushed by a squeeze of opposites so much as you're getting massaged
by the oscillating throbs of complementary influences. Keep doing
what you've been doing, only more so.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21):
Big shiny egos with flashy tricks may be mucking around in everyone's
business, calling narcissistic attention to themselves as they
pretend to do noble deeds. Meanwhile, I hope you'll be doing the
hard, detailed work that must be done to serve the greater good
-- quietly and unpretentiously improving people's lives without
demanding major tribute. That approach will stir up some sleek,
silky karma that will come in handy when you undertake the building
of your masterpiece in 2010.
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HOMEWORK:
Send your favorite dream of 2009 to The Dream of the Month Club.
Go to FreeWillAstrology.com
and click on "Email Rob."
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WANT TO GET YOUR CHART DONE?
I'm not doing personal charts, but I highly recommend my astrological
colleague, RO LOUGHRAN. Her approach closely matches my own. In
our many discussions about astrology over the years, we've had
a major influence on each other's work.
Ro utilizes a blend of well-trained
intuition, emotional warmth, and
a high
degree of technical proficiency
in horoscope interpretation; she
is skilled
at exploring the mysteries of your
life's purpose and nurturing your
connection with your own inner
wisdom.
Ro is based in California, but
can do phone consultations and
otherwise
work with you regardless of geographic
boundaries.
Ro's website is at YourSoulJourney.com
She can also be reached at roloughran@comcast.net
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Contents of the Free Will Astrology Newsletter are Copyright
2009 Rob Brezsny
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