Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter
MARCH 5, 2008
FreeWillAstrology.com
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"Whoever is calm and sensible is insane!"
- The Rumi Collection," Quatrain from Open Secret"
translated by John Moyne and Coleman Barks
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My book
PRONOIA IS THE ANTIDOTE FOR PARANOIA:
How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings
is available for sale at
tinyurl.com/qaj62
Here's an excerpt:
ORIGINS OF THE HOMEOPATHIC MEDICINE SPELLS
Being a devotee of pronoia doesn't mean you will never have another
difficult or painful experience. It doesn't obligate you to pretend
everything is perfectly right with the world. You don't have to
cover your eyes whenever you come into proximity with a daily
newspaper.
On the other hand, we're not going to waste our valuable space
or your precious energy by giving equal time to stories of tragedy,
failure, and tumult. They get far more than their fair share of
attention everywhere else. Future historians might even conclude
that our age suffered from a collective obsessive-compulsive disorder:
the pathological need to repetitively seek out reasons for how
bad life is.
Still, we feel the need to push a bit further in our acknowledgement
of all the confusing evils of the world. We realize that what
we've said so far may not be sufficient to satisfy the paranoid
cynics, who include among their number many well-respected thinkers.
Unless we demonstrate that we have some mastery of their ideology,
they'll dismiss us as intellectual pussies. They will need proof
that we're familiar with the data they favor.
We've decided, therefore, to launch a preemptive strike that
will make it harder for the paranoids to dismiss us pronoiacs
as naive optimists. On page 67 and at four other places in this
book, we've created Homeopathic Medicine Spells. They're designed
to recognize the evils of the world, but in a controlled manner
that prevents them from poisoning you. In this way, we can also
practice what we preach, subverting any tendencies we might have
toward fanaticism and unilateralism.
Each Homeopathic Medicine Spell consists of a contained space
within which lies a recitation of Very Bad Things. The border
around each space is a magical seal that we consecrated during
a ritual invocation of the Cackling Goddess Who Eternally Creates
Us Anew. Inspired through communion with Her fierce jokes, we
also surrounded each seal with good mojo in the form of word charms
and talismanic symbols.
As you gaze at the Homeopathic Medicine Spells, you'll be building
up your protection against the dangers named inside the contained
space. You'll also get intuitions about how to dissolve the pop
nihilistic toxins within you that resonate with those dangers.
To see the image of Homeopathic Medicine Spell #1, go here:
tinyurl.com/2kc6al
To see the image of Homeopathic Medicine Spell #2, go here:
tinyurl.com/3cp5xq
To see the image of Homeopathic Medicine Spell #3, go here:
tinyurl.com/34nqrk
To see the image of Homeopathic Medicine Spell #4, go here:
tinyurl.com/38n3q8
To see the image of Homeopathic Medicine Spell #5, go here:
tinyurl.com/2l6zxo
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To read other news and features from my book, go here:
tinyurl.com/lhwx2
You can buy the book here:
AMAZON
tinyurl.com/qaj62
POWELLS
tinyurl.com/3dsx6q
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OTHER PRONOIA RESOURCES:
PRONOIAC POETICS 1
"The Poet's Dilemma" by Daniel Pinchbeck
tinyurl.com/2cppsb
"Dear Daniel: I too feel that poets and artists need to move
into a new real realm beyond alienation and pessimism . . . [but]
what is an artist supposed to do? You can only write the visions
that come to you. You can't consciously 'steer' the material into
positive attitudes unless you want your poem or novel to be some
sort of propaganda piece, or some sort of fake smile on the face
of a suffering man."
PRONOIAC POETICS 2
Blackberries in the Dream House by Diane Frank
tinyurl.com/28sa2l
www.dianefrank.net
"What would happen to us if we were to undertake the discipline
of turning our life entirely and self-consciously, into a poem?"
RICH PRONOIACS
"A New Breed of Billionaire"
tinyurl.com/2u268t
(this site may require registration)
(Note: I endorse these because I like them. They are not advertisements,
and I get no kickbacks.)
Please tell me your own personal
nominations for PRONOIA RESOURCES.
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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
Week beginning March 6
Copyright 2008 by Rob Brezsny
FreeWillAstrology.com
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20):
It's time you acknowledged that you are a miraculous work of
art, a masterpiece unlike any other ever created. I'm not pandering
to your egotism by telling you that. When I say, "Be yourself,"
I don't mean the self that wants to win every game and use up
every resource and stand alone at the end of history on top of
a Mt. Everest-sized pile of pretty garbage. When I say, "Be
yourself," I mean the self that says thank you to the wild
irises and the windy rain and the people who grow your food. I
mean the self who's joyfully struggling to germinate the seeds
of love and beauty that are packed inside every moment. I mean
the spiritual freedom fighter who's scrambling and finagling and
conspiring to shower all of your fellow messiahs with your best
blessings.
ARIES (March 21-April 19):
This is Celebrate Your Broken Heart Week, Aries. Even if your
heart's not exactly shattered at the moment, it has no doubt been
so at sometime in the past. So why celebrate? Because having a
broken heart is one of the best things that can happen to you.
It strengthens your humility, which makes you smarter. It demonstrates
to you that you have a tremendous capacity for deep feelings --
far more than you're normally aware of. It breaks down defense
mechanisms that have desensitized you to the world's secret beauty.
It should also inspire you to treat other people's hearts with
great care, making it more likely you'll be able to create intelligent
intimacy in the future. Here's what I conclude: A broken heart
is a gift the world gives you to awaken you to the truth about
what matters to you most.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20):
In the Tsonga language of South Africa, the term rhwe
means to fall sleep on the floor while drunk and naked. According
to my analysis, you may now be unusually susceptible to exhibiting
rhwe-like behavior. That's because the astrological omens
suggest you're in prime time for the kind of extravagant socializing
that may lead to extremes you rarely express. There are more constructive
ways to channel this energy than through rhwe, however.
Your challenge will be to make sure your discernment and discipline
are at least partially engaged as you run half-wild and seek prodigious
fun. (The info about rhwe comes from a book about quirky
words, The Meaning of Tingo, by Adam Jacot de Boinod.)
GEMINI (May 21-June 20):
"When friends stop being frank and useful to each other,"
wrote literary critic Anatole Broyard, "the whole world loses
some of its radiance." Make sure that doesn't happen any
time soon, Gemini. In fact, regard this horoscope as a warning
beacon that motivates you to action. Intensify your intention
to keep your best alliances frank and useful. Infuse a dose of
raw candor into any relationship that is in danger of becoming
lazy or dishonest.
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EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES
In addition to the horoscopes that come to you in this newsletter,
I create audio horoscopes for your inspiration. They discuss themes
and cover material that I don't have room to deal with in the
written horoscopes.
They're $6 if you access them on the Web, or $1.99 per minute
over the phone.
Try them at RealAstrology.com.
By phone at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700.
"I always feel like I know myself better after listening
to your audio 'scopes."
- June R., Austin, TX
"Your audio horoscopes calm me down when I'm too manic and
pep me up when I'm down."
- Arthur T., Cleveland, OH
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CANCER (June 21-July 22):
In the Tibetan Buddhist tradition, prayer flags are sets of brightly
colored sacramental cloths that are inscribed with holy words
and images of deities. They're not designed for indoor use in
solemn ceremonies, but are hung outside where the wind blows their
blessings to the heavens and all over the world. I recommend that
you draw inspiration from this practice. It's a perfect time to
take your spiritual yearnings out of the closet, away from the
church and temple and mosque, and beyond all sheltered, temperature-controlled
trappings. Build a shrine in the wilderness, Cancerian. Sing a
hymn from a mountaintop, shower money on the river goddess, or
create your own homemade prayer flags and hang them from a tree.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22):
According to the automaker Saab, this year's sedan has 2,157
features that are different from last year's, including snake-eye
headlamps and a clamshell hood. Your assignment in the coming
weeks, Leo, is to be roused by Saab's willingness to depart from
tradition. Speaking on behalf of the cosmic powers-that-be, I'm
asking you to commit to making 21.6 changes in your life, which
is a mere one percent of Saab's total. If that's too much to handle,
would you consider making 2.16 changes? A good place to start
might be to add your own personal metaphorical version of snake-eye
headlamps.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):
"The moon asked me to meet her in a field tonight,"
wrote mystic poet Hafiz (translated by Daniel Ladinsky). "I
think she has amorous ideas." You might soon feel a similar
suspicion, Virgo. According to my reading of the astrological
omens, seductive offers will be coming your way, and not just
from the moon. Secret suitors may emerge from the shadows. Temptations
could lure you toward the far ends of your imagination. The sheer
profusion of invitations you'll receive might make you giddily
agitated.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22):
A Brazilian man told his wife he wanted a divorce. Consumed with
wrath, she laced his orange juice with a sedative and then sliced
off his penis while he was unconscious. Fortunately, surgeons
successfully reattached the organ. Later the man absolved his
wife of her sin, and they reconciled. "She was stressed and
I understand her reasons," he said. I hope his saintly feat
inspires you to be equally magnanimous, Libra. It's a perfect
moment for you to forgive people you thought you could never forgive
-- to go way beyond your previous limits in extending tolerance,
mercy, and slack.
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AUDIO HOROSCOPES
In addition to the horoscopes that you're reading here, I create
audio horoscopes for your amusement and inspiration. Find out
more at RealAstrology.com.
The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888
or 1-900-950-7700.
"Your audio horoscopes work better than my therapist and
cost me five percent of what he charges."
- Chris M., San Francisco, CO
"You've helped me remember important things about myself
that I'd forgotten."
- Ruth V., Toronto
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SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21):
In his book Starbucked, Taylor Clark claims there is
a woman who goes into a Seattle Starbucks every day during the
morning rush and orders a "decaf single grandé extra
vanilla two-percent extra caramel 185-degrees with whipped cream
caramel macchiato." Maybe her request seems overly fussy
and demanding, but in the next 12 days I encourage you to be equally
as exacting in asking for what you want. You have a poetic license
to be extremely specific as you go about your quest for fulfillment.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21):
During his 21 years as Prime Minister of Canada, Mackenzie King
(1874-1950) sought counsel from ouija boards, crystal balls, psychics,
and spirits. As one of the most powerful Sagittarians who has
ever called on supernatural sources for help in making practical
decisions, he's your role model in the coming week. It's time,
in my astrological opinion, for you to seek information from beyond
your old reliable sources, including at least some that transcend
the fixations of your rational ego.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19):
San Francisco Chronicle columnist Jon Carroll says he's
periodically asked about what it takes to be a writer. He has
two pieces of advice: "Good writers read a lot, and good
writers write a lot." I urge you to apply that approach to
whatever skill it is you'd like to master, whether it's building
a boat, traveling where the tourists don't go, satisfying a lover,
or anything else. In other words, practice, practice, and practice
some more as you study the work of those who are experts in the
field. Now is an especially ripe time for you to identify what
this skill is for you, and to sign a formal agreement with yourself
in which you promise to steadily upgrade your mastery of it.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18):
I encourage you to fantasize abundantly about improbable combinations
and seemingly unnatural juxtapositions, Aquarius. For instance,
imagine that through the magic of genetic engineering, a mad scientist
crosses a giraffe and a hippopotamus to produce a giraffopotamus.
Or imagine reading an essay that brilliantly compares apples and
oranges. Or watch the musical comedy film West Bank Story,
which portrays the love affair between an Israeli soldier and
a Palestinian cashier, whose parents operate competing falafel
restaurants on the West Bank. Doing things like this will put
you in the right mood to respond creatively to the unusual syntheses
that fate will soon make available to you.
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HOMEWORK:
What's the most amazing feat you ever pulled off? What will you
do for your next amazing feat? Go to FreeWillAstrology.com
and click on "Email Rob."
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WANT TO GET YOUR CHART DONE?
I'm not doing personal charts, but I highly recommend my astrological
colleague, RO LOUGHRAN. Her approach closely matches my own. In
our many discussions about astrology over the years, we've had
a major influence on each other's work.
Ro utilizes a blend of well-trained
intuition, emotional warmth, and
a high
degree of technical proficiency
in horoscope interpretation; she
is skilled
at exploring the mysteries of your
life's purpose and nurturing your
connection with your own inner
wisdom.
Ro is based in California, but
can do phone consultations and
otherwise
work with you regardless of geographic
boundaries.
Ro's website is at YourSoulJourney.com
She can also be reached at roloughran@comcast.net
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Will Astrology Weekly Newsletter
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Contents of the Free Will Astrology Newsletter are Copyright
2008 Rob Brezsny
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