Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter
MARCH 5, 2014
PRONOIA IS THE ANTIDOTE FOR PARANOIA
is available at Amazon: bit.ly/Pronoia
or Powells: bit.ly/PronoiaPowells
Here's an excerpt. You can read or listen to a podcast of the
whole thing here:
PROCEDURE: Act as if the universe is a prodigious miracle created
for your amusement and illumination. Assume that secret helpers
are working behind the scenes to assist you in turning into the
gorgeous masterpiece you were born to be. Join the conspiracy
to shower all of creation with blessings.
HYPOTHESES: Evil is boring. Cynicism is idiotic. Fear is a bad
habit. Despair is lazy. Joy is fascinating. Love is an act of
heroic genius. Pleasure is your birthright. Receptivity is a superpower.
DEFINITION: Pronoia is the antidote for paranoia. It's the understanding
that the universe is fundamentally friendly. It's a mode of training
your senses and intellect so you're able to perceive the fact
that life always gives you exactly what you need, exactly when
you need it.
OBJECTIVE OF PRONOIA: To explore the secrets of becoming a wildly
disciplined, fiercely tender, ironically sincere, scrupulously
curious, aggressively sensitive, blasphemously reverent, lyrically
logical, lustfully compassionate Master of Rowdy Bliss.
GUIDING QUESTION: "The secret of life," said sculptor
Henry Moore to poet Donald Hall, "is to have a task, something
you devote your entire life to, something you bring everything
to, every minute of the day for your whole life. And the most
important thing is -- it must be something you cannot possibly
do." What is that task for you?
UNDIGNIFIED MEDITATIONS TO KEEP YOU HONEST: Brag about what you
can't do and don't have. Confess profound secrets to people who
aren't particularly interested. Pray for the success of your enemies
while you're making love. Change your name every day for a thousand
TOP-SECRET ALLIES: Sacred janitors, benevolent pranksters, apathy
debunkers, lyrical logicians, ethical outlaws, aspiring masters
of curiosity, homeless millionaires, humble megalomaniacs, hedonistic
midwives, lunatic saints, sly optimists, mystical scientists,
dissident bodhisattvas, macho feminists, and socialist libertarians
who possess inside information about the big bang.
DAILY PRACTICE: Push hard to get better, become smarter, grow
your devotion to the truth, fuel your commitment to beauty, refine
your emotional intelligence, hone your dreams, negotiate with
your shadow, cure your ignorance, shed your pettiness, heighten
your drive to look for the best in people, and soften your heart
-- even as you always accept yourself for exactly who you are
with all of your so-called imperfections.
TO HEAR OR READ THE REST, go here: bit.ly/xROwHE
Steal This Image from PRONOIA: bit.ly/wxtW1L
Listen to two hours of my music and audio recordings for free:
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
Are you in quest of an Intimate Ally? A Soul Friend? A Wild Confidante?
Check out Match.com via Free Will Astrology's link: bit.ly/SoulMatch
Look for a Co-Pilot, Co-Conspirator, or Collaborator . . . an
Agent to represent you or a Disciple to worship you . . . a Secret
Sharer who'll listen better than anyone or an Amazing Accomplice
with whom you can practice the Art of Liberation.
MORE PRONOIA RESOURCES:
In restorative justice, those who commit crimes have to face
the consequences of their actions. After this Colorado policeman
tried it out, he came to believe it's part of the answer to America's
10 Clever Ideas From Around the World to Root Out Inequality
(Like Fining Extreme CEO Pay)
Springboks celebrate fresh grass by pronking.
(Note: I endorse these because I like them. They are not advertisements,
and I get no kickbacks.)
Please tell me your own personal nominations for PRONOIA RESOURCES.
FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
Week beginning March 6
Copyright 2014 by Rob Brezsny
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20):
In the 1997 film Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery,
the lead character announces that "'Danger' is my middle
name." Ever since, real people in the UK have been legally
making "Danger" their middle name with surprising regularity.
I think it would be smart fun for you Pisceans to add an innovative
element to your identity in the coming days, maybe even a new
middle name. But I recommend that you go in a different direction
than "Danger." A more suitable name might be "Changer,"
to indicate you're ready to eagerly embrace change. Or how about
"Ranger," to express a heightened desire to rove and
ARIES (March 21-April 19):
Are you between jobs? Between romantic partners? Between secure
foundations and clear mandates and reasons to get up each morning?
Probably at least one of the above. Foggy whirlwinds may be your
intimate companions. Being up-in-the-air could be your customary
vantage point. During your stay in this weird vacationland, please
abstain from making conclusions about its implications for your
value as a human being. Remember these words from author Terry
Braverman: "It is important to detach our sense of self-worth
from transitional circumstances, and maintain perspective on who
we are by enhancing our sense of 'self-mirth.'" Whimsy and
levity can be your salvation, Aries. Lucky flux should
be your mantra.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20):
The renowned cellist Yo Yo Ma once came to the home of computer
pioneer Steve Jobs and performed a private concert. Jobs was deeply
touched, and told Ma, "Your playing is the best argument
I've ever heard for the existence of God, because I don't really
believe a human alone can do this." Judging from the current
astrological omens, Taurus, I'm guessing you will soon experience
an equivalent phenomenon: a transcendent expression of love or
beauty that moves you to suspect that magic is afoot. Even if
you are an atheist, you are likely to feel the primal shiver that
comes from having a close brush with enchantment.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20):
In my dream, I was leading a pep rally for a stadium full of
Geminis. "Your intensity brings you great pleasure,"
I told them over the public address system. "You seek the
company of people who love you to be inspired. You must be appreciated
for your enthusiasm, never shamed. Your drive for excellence doesn't
stress you out, it relaxes you. I hereby give you license to laugh
even louder and sing even stronger and think even smarter."
By now the crowd was cheering and I was bellowing. "It's
not cool to be cool," I exulted. "It's cool to be burning
with a white-hot lust for life. You are rising to the next octave.
You are playing harder than you have ever played."
CANCER (June 21-July 22):
"My old paintings no longer interest me," said the
prolific artist Pablo Picasso when he was 79 years old. "I'm
much more curious about those I haven't done yet." I realize
it might be controversial for me to suggest that you adopt a similar
perspective, Cancerian. After all, you are renowned for being
a connoisseur of old stories and past glories. One of your specialties
is to keep memories alive and vibrant by feeding them with your
generous love. To be clear, I don't mean that you should apologize
for or repress those aptitudes. But for now -- say, the next three
weeks -- I invite you to turn your attention toward the exciting
things you haven't done yet.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22):
I recommend that you sleep with a special someone whose dreams
you'd like to blend with yours. And when I say "sleep with,"
I mean it literally; it's not a euphemism for "having sex
with." To be clear: Making love with this person is fine
if that's what you both want. But my main point is that you will
draw unexpected benefits from lying next to this companion as
you both wander through the dreamtime. Being in your altered states
together will give you inspiration you can't get any other way.
You won't be sharing information on a conscious level, but that's
exactly the purpose: to be transformed together by what's flowing
back and forth between your deeper minds. For extra credit, collaborate
on incubating a dream. Read this: tinyurl.com/dreamincubation.
YOU'VE ALWAYS GOT MORE HELP AVAILABLE THAN YOU IMAGINE
What do you want to be when you grow up? Is it possible that
you will eventually develop beautiful capacities and sublime understandings
that you can't even imagine right now?
I might be able to help you move in the direction of becoming
more of the person you were born to be.
Tune in to my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES
Find out more at RealAstrology.com.
The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888.
"The best part about your audio horoscopes is that they
pat me on the head and kick me in the ass at the same time."
- Rita L., San Diego
"Your audio oracles go beyond helping me find the truth
-- they inspire me to find the WILD truth."
- Patrick K., Montreal
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):
"One chord is fine," said rock musician Lou Reed about
his no-frills approach to writing songs. "Two chords are
pushing it. Three chords and you're into jazz." I recommend
his perspective to you in the coming weeks, Virgo. Your detail-oriented
appreciation of life's complexity is one of your finest qualities,
but every once in a while -- like now -- you can thrive by stripping
down to the basics. This will be especially true about your approach
to intimate relationships. For the time being, just assume that
cultivating simplicity will generate the blessings you need most.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22):
You Librans haven't received enough gifts, goodies, and compliments
lately. For reasons I can't discern, you have been deprived of
your rightful share. It's not fair! What can you do to rectify
this imbalance in the cosmic ledger? How can you enhance your
ability to attract the treats you deserve? It's important that
we solve this riddle, since you are entering a phase when your
wants and needs will expand and deepen. Here's what I can offer:
I hereby authorize you to do whatever it takes to entice everyone
into showering you with bounties, boons, and bonuses. To jumpstart
this process, shower yourself with bounties, boons, and bonuses.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21):
"The art of living is more like wrestling than dancing,"
wrote the Roman philosopher Marcus Aurelius more than 1,800 years
ago. Is that true for you, Scorpio? Do you experience more strenuous
struggle and grunting exertion than frisky exuberance? Even if
that's usually the case, I'm guessing that in the coming weeks
your default mode should be more akin to dancing than wrestling.
The cosmos has decided to grant you a grace period -- on one condition,
that is: You must agree to experiment more freely and have more
fun that you normally allow yourself.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21):
For the itch you are experiencing, neither chamomile nor aloe
vera will bring you relief. Nor would over-the-counter medications
like calamine lotion. No, Sagittarius. Your itch isn't caused
by something as tangible as a rash or hives, and can't be soothed
by any obvious healing agent. It is, shall we say, more in the
realm of a soul itch -- a prickly tickle that is hard to diagnose,
let alone treat. I'm guessing that there may be just one effective
cure: Become as still and quiet and empty as you possibly can,
and then invite your Future Self to scratch it for you.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19):
The world is awash in bright, shiny nonsense. Every day we wade
through a glare of misinformation and lazy delusions and irrelevant
data. It can be hard to locate the few specific insights and ideas
that are actually useful and stimulating. That's the bad news,
Capricorn. Here's the good news: You now have an enhanced ability
to ferret out nuggets of data that can actually empower you. You
are a magnet for the invigorating truths you really need most.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18):
If you come up with an original invention, apply for a patent
immediately. If you think of a bright idea, put it to work as
soon as possible. If you figure out crucial clues that everyone
else seems blind to, dispel the general ignorance as quickly as
you can. This is a perfect moment for radical pragmatism carried
out with expeditious savvy. It's not a time when you should naively
hope for the best with dreamy nonchalance. For the sake of your
mental health and for the good of your extended family, be crisp,
direct, and forceful.
What were the circumstances in which you were most dangerously
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2014 Rob Brezsny