From Wild Woman Network: New Beginnings http://ezezine.com Wild Woman Network Newsletter Volume 1 Issue 1 June 15, 2005 E-mail: wwn@wildwomannetwork.com =========================================== New Beginnings "In absence of clearly defined goals, we become strangely loyal to performing daily acts of trivia." Unknown In America we are tormented by the calendar, obsessed with filling in our days with something. I took a week off to do nothing and I did not do it well. I was tired and rest was top on the list. First, I bought and put together two bookcases, organized my living room and bedroom closet. I invited subscribers to be part of this newsletter, lined up guest articles, interviews and three people to write a tips section. Besides doing laundry, shopping I also watched one movie, visited one art exhibit and I wrote a column. I did rest but felt guilty that I did not do enough with my vacation. Well how crazy is that? June is a month for beginnings and for endings. Graduations have come and gone and weddings are all around. We may be packing up to move to a new city and a new job. Or we are beginning a new life with a new person and leaving behind what we once knew. We can kick off our shoes and relax a little. We can begin that new renovation project on our home. Start a new diet, read a good thick and juicy novel. Or finally face the blank page and begin to act creatively. What to do? We have goals and dreams to fulfill. The tension to do is great. The desire for creation is powerful. How can we best use that tension and desire to live a wonderful creative life? =========================================== Quote: Robert Bly in his book, The Rag and Bone Shop of the Heart says thefollowing about being wild. "To be wild is not to be crazy like a criminal or psychotic, but "mad as the mist and snow." It has nothing to do with being childish or primitive, nor does it manifest as manic rebellion or self-damaging alienation. The marks of wildness, Bly says, are a love of nature, a delight in silence, a voice free to say spontaneous things, and an exuberant curiosity in the face of the unknown." =========================================== Welcome to the first issue of WWN - it is full of interesting things. The quote from Robert Bly I think refers to his Wild Man workshops but I liked it so much that I use it to explain all things wild. I am blessed to know many interesting wild women and men. In each issue I will feature one or two with some good wild tips for life thrown in. Since this is a creation in progress please let me know your thoughts and ideas. What would you like to see? Since June is a time for change - when we go into summer mode and hopefully are not restricted to a calendar of things to do - I thought I would feature my long time friend Laurie Sue Brockway in this premier issue. Laurie and I have been friends since college and she was my first editor at Fiorella's Flute our college newspaper. Laurie pursued her craft with focused dedication and had a great career as a journalist. She is the author of 12 books, an interfaith minister, a new wife, a wonderful mother and a good and supportive friend. She has a wonderful article for stressed out brides in this issue and some great tips for every issue. So if you are a bride to be, marrying a bride, a parent, friend, relative, or co-worker of a bride to be - read this article. Even if you are none of these things I think there is some sage advice for de-stressing and follow your dream. There will be monthly tips from Barbara Winter - my mentor for living the joyfully jobless life. Each time I have been laid off Barbara has delicately pointed out that it may be a sign. I have not made the leap yet but I am looking over the edge into a different life. Lucia Luna and I were classmates eleven years ago at the New Seminary studying to become interfaith ministers. Lucia offers a mid life point of view and is a great coach for those seeking change at any age. The next issue I will have an interview with Barbara and look for my feature with Donna Henes (Mama Donna) author of The Queen of Myself. So print out this newsletter - read it on the train, sipping coffee or on the couch. Enjoy and remember to be wild in all things! =========================================== Reflections from the Wild Woman of Queens - this reflection appeared in the fifth anniversary online issue of http://www.soulfulliiving.com/ and is part of a larger article on Life's Reflections. Publisher's reflections... The last five years have brought changes - jobs won and lost. Friends have come and gone. I have discovered gifts I didn't know I had and have been horrified by bad traits that have emerged. I have taken on the moniker of the "wild woman". Robert Bly in his book, The Rag and Bone Shop of the Heart says the following about being wild. "To be wild is not to be crazy like a criminal or psychotic, but "mad as the mist and snow." It has nothing to do with being childish or primitive, nor does it manifest as manic rebellion or self-damaging alienation. The marks of wildness, Bly says, are a love of nature, a delight in silence, a voice free to say spontaneous things, and an exuberant curiosity in the face of the unknown." Bly has given voice to what I understood about "being wild" but could not explain. As a creative being I could not deny the longing to express that, which was innate in me. Honoring my creativity required me to take chances. For years I considered myself only a poet. I did write articles and essays but it was poetry that occupied my time. Poetry is a wonderful art form. But there were other words, other images that were to be unearthed. I co-facilitate a writing group at the Cathedral of Saint John the Divine in NYC. I have taught classes and listened to other instructors and my fellow classmates and the things they had to say. What emerged was the poignancy of their stories. After 9/11 that poignancy took on greater meaning. In December of 2001 I took a vacation to Las Vegas. Different casinos are designed after popular tourist cities around the world. I ate in Venice, sipped coffee and ate pastries in Paris and took photos in Rome. I visited the Brooklyn Bridge next to the Coney Island roller coaster. All of this was fun. But I noticed that the cities were devoid of any of the things that make them both exciting and frustrating. Where were the pigeons in the Piazza? There was no litter in the NYC streets and the canals of Venice smelled like nothing. You could pretend to be there but it was not the same. It was safe. 9/11 showed us we couldn't be safe all the time. Traveling from NYC to this fantasy was surreal and disheartening. Except for t-shirts left with messages of hope from firehouses around the country as memorial at the New York, New York casino there was none of the reminders of tragic events. No flags sold on the street. As tragic as the events were I did not want to forget them. Not now - even years later. I am reminded of the stories of people I will never meet. I am reminded that we all have stories to tell. When we stop telling our stories we in essence stop living. Someone else can tell our story. And like Las Vegas it may not be the whole truth. Maybe it will be sanitized and devoid of our foibles. Or our foibles will outweigh the good we have done. The past five years brought home the importance of following our hearts not to the point of self-absorption but to the point of discovery. Opening my heart just a little I have discovered my talents, my fears and hopes for the future. One hope is to keep on revealing and discovering who I am. Another hope is to be open to others even in the face of fear. My wish is that we all be "mad as the mist and snow." Be wild. Be happy. Namaste. =========================================== Wild Interview: Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway regularly marries couples in love and has been cited as one of the New York's most creative and unique wedding officiant. She is also widely recognized as an expert in women's empowerment, self-esteem and spirituality. She is a bridal stress expert, devoted to helping brides-to-be tap into their inner power and poise. She co-facilitates the nationally acclaimed Bridal Survival Club for The New York Wedding Group and is author of WEDDING GODDESS: A Divine Guide To Transforming Wedding Stress into Wedding Bliss (Perigee Books, May 2005). Tell us about your new book? Wedding planning can be a crisis for any woman heading to the altar. WEDDING GODDESS takes brides-to-be on an emotionally and spiritually empowering, step-by-step journey to the altar. I tried to make page after page is rich with insight, advice and many practical and spiritual hints on how to rise to the occasion like a Goddess. I treat the planning of the wedding as a growing experience and incorporates special exercises, blessings, rituals, meditation, music, healing techniques, creativity and playfulness into the experience. Benefits? It gives brides a guide, to help them through the experience. Audience? Brides to be. Do you consider your work a vocation or a career? Why? It's a calling. I spent 20 years as a journalist, reporting on major work events and specializing in human relationship dynamics. I was an observer, and interviewer. Now I get to be part of some of the most significant moments in people's lives. And I can apply my understanding of relationship dynamics to counseling brides and grooms through their wedding experience and helping them prepare for married. When I see a bride and groom share their first dance, I am filled with pride to know I helped make that happen. Never fails to make me cry! What excites you most in life? I love the energy between brides and groom when they stand at the wedding altar. It makes any place a chapel. Everyone present is healed and uplifted ... they send their love toward the couple ... and they share in the love that bubbles up throughout the ceremony. It evoked the most common denominator in all weddings, and in all of life. LOVE. It's the one thing we can all relate to. It is something we all need and want. When we experience it, its good for all involved. The bride and groom are the great hope for relationships on our planet. They help us believe that it is possible! Also, I love honesty and clarity. Our world has become a wacky place and if we don't keep our perspective, we are all lost. My new favorite movie is The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. It's made more sense to me then any newscast I have seen lately. What dreams would you still like to fulfill? Having my own Wedding Chapel and marrying couples from all backgrounds in a beautiful, loving sacred space to call my own. Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway, Interfaith Minister/Wedding Officiant, http://www.RevLaurieSue.com Author, Wedding Goddess: A Divine Guide to Transforming Wedding Stress into Wedding Bliss (Perigee Books/Penguin May 2005), http://www.WeddingGoddess.com Amazon.com link: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0399530991/qid=1109955985/sr=8-1/ref=pd_bbs_1/102-9853850-6684113?v=glance&s=books&n=507846 Co-facilitator, The Bridal Survival Club, next meeting June 22, http://www.www.nywg.org/BridalSurvival =========================================== Featured Article: The Antidote to Singing The Bridal Blues By Laurie Sue Brockway, Author of Wedding Goddess Everybody loves a wedding - but are we living in a nation of stressed out brides? While the Runaway Bride story of recent headlines is not a typical story, it helped shine a light on something most people can't fully understand unless they have had or once had -- those bridal hormones coursing through them. Planning a wedding can be a big pain in the you-know-what ... and all that people pleasing can zap the spirit and joy out of being a bride. Bridal stress is unique. It is essentially temporary, yet is connected too much deeper family issues and emotional challenges. It can easily be triggered by practical issues - ask any bride who has tried to interpret a tricky vendor contract or shop for bridesmaid dresses with their attendants -- and is exacerbated by family dynamics. There is often a decision to make, or challenge to resolve, at every turn of that journey to the altar. Every little nuance -- and nuisance -- can put you in a momentary tizzy. It is no wonder some women get the bridal blues. Here are some of the challenges, and anecdotes, for brides-to-be: Bridezillas are made, not born. It's supposed to be the happiest time of your life - and you want it to be - yet planning a wedding is like working a second job. You have to find the time to tend to a multitude of details as part of an already busy schedule while managing vendors, family anxieties and demands, your groom, your emotions and an array of tricky wedding dynamics. True, some brides are downright demanding but most are nice people, sucked into the vortex of wedding planning stress, and overwhelmed by the stress, pressure and expectations of those around her. Wedding Goddess Antidote: A bride has to include stress management, self-nurturing and time to chill out as an integral part of her wedding planning process. When you feel the stress building, take time out, go for a walk, slip into a movie, get a massage, go for a manicure, write in a journal, do something un-wedding. You have to love, honor and cherish yourself if you want to be loved, honored and cherished by someone else! Everyone has something to say about your wedding - and you are not alone in feeling you can't win! No matter who you are or what age - everyone has something to say about your wedding. You may be showered with congratulations and gifts, but you are simultaneously bombarded with unsolicited advice, wedding horror stories you don't want to hear, and negative vibes from well-meaning friends and relatives who are too lost in their own experience to realize they are imposing on you. People tend to see your wedding as a chance to fulfill their own needs and family dynamics erupt in every which direction because as the clan prepares to gather they begin to act out what it's all about for them - not you! The issues are classic - mom wants it to be the wedding she never had, sister or best friend wishes it were her, your groom is afraid to stand up to his family. Or the experience may be fraught with more modern challenges such as questions about mixing faiths, opting for a non-religious wedding or planning an alternative kind of affair. Wedding Goddess Antidote: A Bride has to clarify the wedding she truly wants, try to stay centered and set clear boundaries that no one can penetrate with words or attitudes. If all else fails, consider this: The reality is that weddings tend to be for other people, but marriage is for you two. Focus on what your marriage will mean to you. Getting married can stir up a lot of emotions. The process itself sets forth period of growth and change that can be very confusing and nerve -wracking. Once you decide to marry you will begin the process of getting ready for marriage, and unresolved emotions about parents and family, past loves and concerns about the person you have chosen will come to the surface to be explored. This doesn't mean you shouldn't marry, it just means inner work is called for along with all the outer preparations. Wedding Goddess Antidote: A bride can embrace the awareness that she is embarking on a journey of evolution from one part of life to another, and honor and address the emotions and fears that arise. Trust they are natural and pay attention to any issues that might require support or counseling. It is important to stay on top of your emotions and be honest with yourself during this time. Don't sweep things under the rug. Wedding planning can be a crisis. There is so much focus on the external experience that a bride can become mired in details and demands and lose track of herself and the reason she is getting married in the first place. When she feels that planning the wedding of her dreams means going to battle - with parents, family, friends, groom, and almost anyone involved - she becomes hostile and reactive. What began as a joyful experience turns into a fight - a fight for having the perfect wedding. It is exhausting and can turn even sweet tempered people can turn mean and cranky. Wedding Goddess Antidote: Remember that the true meaning of marriage is to bring two together in sacred union - the party is meant to be a celebration not something that will kill your spirit in the planning. When two people in love literally step up to commit themselves to one another in matrimony they have the opportunity to unite not just their hearts, lives and families, but to unite their very beings. And it is not just the couple that benefits from the ceremony - anyone who witnesses a wedding can be empowered and inspired by the love in the room. Focus on the love and remember it is always your aim. Your happiness in life DOES NOT hinge on your wedding alone. Some brides believe that they must have a perfect wedding in order to have a perfect marriage and a perfect life. They give the wedding day too much power. They begin to treat the wedding itself as something to be worshipped and served. There is an underlying fear that if something goes wrong with the wedding, it is a sign that will make or break the marriage. Our culture places a tremendous emphasis on having a great wedding and not enough focus on having an awesome marriage. It's okay to be temporarily obsessed and to yearn for the perfect wedding -- we all go there at some point -- but you have to keep your eye on what's truly important. Wedding Goddess Antidote: Step back and realize, the most important part of the day is not the day itself ... but that you walked down that aisle and into the arms of the person you love - the one you look forward to building your life with. You will have a lifetime in which you can create more memories ... the wedding day, while important, is only one of the many experiences and memories you will share! Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway is a non-denominational wedding officiant, who regularly marries couples in love. She is also widely recognized as a bridal stress expert devoted to helping brides-to-be tap into their inner power and poise. She is co-facilitator of The Bridal Survival Club and author of WEDDING GODDESS: A Divine Guide To Transforming Wedding Stress into Wedding Bliss (Perigee Books, May 2005). Visit her at http://www.WeddingGoddess.com. =========================================== Interesting Events and Links: Writing for Life: Creating a Story of Your Own - Click here for more information and to sign up http://www.selfhealingexpressions.com/scrapbooking.shtml James W. Pennebaker, PhD author Opening Up: The Healing Power of Expressing Emotions had this to say about the course: "Writing for Life: Creating a Story of Your Own" is a creative and thoughtful guide to self-understanding. In 20 lessons, she takes the students' hands and leads them through a series of exercises that deal with family, spirituality, health, the future and the past, and other topics central to human existence. This is a very nice journaling project that could be helpful for millions. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * SPECIAL EVENT WITH REV. LAURIE SUE: First Annual Wedding Goddess BLESSING OF THE BRIDES in Central Park, June 26 at noon When brides gather, stress fades! Brides of all backgrounds invited. Relax & rise above wedding stress in a fun ceremony to ready your heart, mind and spirit for the big day! RSVP to: RevLaurieSue@weddinggoddess.com * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Take Charge of Your Time with Barbara Biziou There are only 168 hours in the week. Why waste them? In this evening workshop you will: -Learn practical and effective ways to plan and prioritize your life -Discover ways to overcome procrastination -Transform scattered energy into laser-like focus Tuesday, June 28 7:00pm-9:30pm West Village Location Fee: $50 (Bring a friend and save $10!) RSVP -space limited * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * June 16: Guest Writer and Teacher Sandra Lee Schubert talks about how writing can expand visibility. There are lots of subtle ways to gain a presence on the web and also to begin to build your own community. Writing is a powerful tool for gaining that presence and writer and poet Sandra Schubert has quite a community. She will guide you in the development of your writing. A good place to begin is a story . Your own story. Host Phyllis Haynes will talk with Sandra Lee Schubert about writing and how she has built a satisfying and growing community on the web. http://www.cvcommunity.com/utility/showEvent/index.cfm?objectID=3003 =========================================== Wild Woman Tips: Invest in Your Entrepreneurial Self By Barbara Winter, author of Jumpstart Your Entrepreneurial Spirit! While a lot of people talk and talk and talk about what they want to do someday, there's a foolproof self-test you can give yourself to see if you're backing your dreams with action: look at your checkbook and your calendar. Are you spending your time and money in ways that reflect an investment in yourself? Are you building a library? Attending seminars? Meeting with other self-employed people? Doing your homework? If you don't support your dreams, you can't expect anyone else to, either. "Don't ask yourself what the world needs," Harold Thurman Whitman once advised. "Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive." That may be the real key to building a strong self-bosser's consciousness. Barbara Winter is a Minneapolis-based entrepreneur; writer and speaker who has spent the past 17 years helping people discover their passions and turn them into profitable businesses. She is the author of the best-selling book, Making a Living Without a Job: Winning Ways for Creating Work That You Love (Bantam, 1993), and the publisher of Winning Ways, the newsletter for people living and working with passion. http://www.barbarawinter.con/ * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 13 Steps For Making Your Romantic Dreams Come True: "Always be ready - you can meet that special someone at the most unexpected times and places." -- Dr. Judy Kuriansky, The Complete Idiot's Guide To Dating Welcome to Project Soul Mate. These tips will help you to open your heart, your arms and your life to love in 2005 and beyond. Forget about searching for the one who might be The One. First, clean up stuff you no longer need, get your life in order, and simultaneously, get ready for love. Here are just a few of my pearls of wisdom on the topic, culled from more than 25 years of work on the front line of the Relationship Revolution and many more than that out and about on Love's Battlefield. #1. Take responsibility and do your part In soul mate relationships, people find an end to the sense of separation because it truly is like being reunited with self. Your soul mate will help heal you but can't be responsible for fixing you. Even if he or she wants to, don't let 'em! Even soul mate couples with great relationships have issues to heal -- individually and with one another's help -- but it is so important that the process of releasing old beliefs, healing broken hearts and letting go of baggage from relationships past is well underway before we tango with new love. If healing has not begun and progressed -- through therapy, grief work, spiritual practice and any other form of transformational work - we risk being needy and over anxious, and jumping into the wrong relationship. Stay tuned for tips 2-13 Copyright 2005 Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway. All Rights Reserved. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * You Have To Let Go Of The Past In Order To Create Your Future. By Lucia Luna Have you ever noticed how difficult it is to let go of wrongs that were done to us in the past? Each one of us longs for love--to feel peaceful and unafraid. But at the same time we cherish our emotional wounds. They grow in the secret gardens of our souls, and we can't bear to part with them. We know that these weeds and thorns overgrow and choke other parts of our lives--maybe we are afraid that if we pull them up and throw them out, there won't be anything of us left. Just the opposite is true, of course. Under those weeds is our truer selves waiting to be tended and nourished. Pulling the weeds out releases enormous amounts of trapped energy--energy to create lives we love--and opens our spiritual and emotional connection to a higher, loving power. If you are a woman in midlife, you already know that more energy and more connection is just what you need. Lucia Luna, The Midlife Midwife has spent over 20+ years involved in the study and practice of spirituality and healing methods. Lucia's mission is to empower her clients to take their focus off "perceived" limitations, learn to use the power of the mind and the creative flow of the universe to birth personal power & wellness for the prime of life. http://www.lucialuna.com/ =========================================== If you know someone who may enjoy receiving a subscription to Wild Woman Network Newsletter, send him or her this link http://home.ezezine.com/331_2/ to subscribe to the mailing list. The list is used solely by Sandra Lee Schubert and Wild Woman Network. You may be invited to other interesting newsletters and receive occasional announcements from WWN or me but the list will not be shared. =========================================== Notes about Me: Sandra Lee Schubert is an interfaith minister, writer and founder of Wild Woman Ministries and Wild Woman Network a forum to explore and express creativity and spirituality. As a minister and coach, Rev. Schubert has helped people discover and unlock their creative potential. She also leads workshops and co-facilitates a popular writing program called the Wild Angels at the historic Cathedral of St. John the Divine. Her subscription e-course - Writing for Life: Creating a Story of Your Own, is available: http://www.selfhealingexpressions.com/courses.shtml. Email: wwn@wildwomannetwork.com, or visit http://www.wildwomanministries.org. 212-642-5042.