It's choice - not chance - that determines your destiny. Author: Jean Nidetch


Some people seem to have all the luck. Some go around saying things like "I've never won a raffle so why bother? I know I won't win."

What about the opposite thought?

Some people believe they will win. Some seem to have 'all the luck.'

What makes the difference between these attitudes?

We could say that history and experience play a part in our attitudes.

What stops someone from shifting to a brighter outlook?

A few weeks ago I had a dream about leaving a parking garage with several possible paths to various exits. Each exit posted the street name and in the dream I remember looking out at all of the options before choosing the pathway to the exit I wanted. That led me to thinking about the choices we make.

I have a reputation for consistently finding a parking space near my destination no matter how high the odds are stacked against me. It seems uncanny, and most of my friends are astonished as they experience my confidence.

If wasn't until one friend questioned me when I realized there are several factors besides luck going on. And, I also realized that by using the analogy of finding a good parking space, it can translate into many aspects of our lives.

The dream helped me to realize the process. First off, when I set out for my destination, I envision parking my car. As I approach my destination, I begin looking - not just for an empty space but for people walking on the sidewalks or in the street. Do they have keys in hand? A dog on a leash? Are they walking slowly? I also scout out the entire block up ahead if possible. I look for car lights, blinkers, and oftentimes for open spaces that don't readily appear to be parking spots (i.e. on a corner).

This describes the ability to anticipate and look at options while TRULY believing in a positive outcome.

How can we translate this concept into our lives? Are we walking around feeling doom and gloom - that things won't work out so why bother? Or, are we feeling overly confident and cocky and therefore taking things for granted? Perhaps it's about feeling confident, but at the same time being aware of possibilities and making good choices.

While many people refer to the highly touted movie "The Secret" and found it to be filled with seemingly impossible and unbelievable scenarios, I do think there is something to be said for truly believing that something will happen - no holds barred.

It seems as though we have a tendency to filter or exclude some options without realizing it. Example: "This year I want to be a successful entrepreneur." At the end of the year when that isn't the case, most people will say "Well, it was a nice wish, maybe next year."

However, if we examine the thinking behind the wish what we typically find is that there are many negative thoughts associated with it. When a client actually expressed this wish, I asked about any associations she had with entrepreneurs. She said, "they are greedy; they tend to make bad decisions; they are isolated; little time for play, etc." So it's no wonder with these hidden ideas that the desire doesn't manifest.

The same thing is true for anything we want in our lives. We tend to make choices based upon our underlying ideas and thoughts that we may not be aware of. If somewhere inside of us we believe that something will not really happen, chances are we will make choices that don't effectively support the goal. And, that is not to say that the opposite is true, but at least we would make choices that will support what it is that we really want.

INVITATION TO EXPERIMENT
Think about something that you really want in your life that hasn't happened yet. What might be some of the hidden thoughts that you harbor?
Examples:
--If I'm really successful, I will not have time for my family.
--If I get the job, it will mean crazy hours.
--If I leave this relationship, I will never find another.

Ultimately, unless you TRULY believe something can occur, it likely will not.

If you feel inclined, please let me know if you decide to go ahead and try this experiment. I anxiously await hearing about your experiences. Your feedback and comments have been most welcomed:-) Keep them coming!!

Very best regards,


marion@lifecoachinggroup.com
(c) 2004-09. All rights reserved. Marion Franklin, www.lifecoachinggroup.com
Comments? Feedback? lllfeedback@lifecoachinggroup.com

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