Sometimes life can feel so bleak – so despairing as though things will never be right again. With people losing their jobs on a daily basis, especially here in the U.S., people are angry, hurt, disappointed and most of all frightened. This makes perfect sense, and those who are not personally affected can empathize and understand the feelings and fear that people are going through at this time.

A former client, living with his girlfriend, knew that the relationship wasn’t going as well as he would have liked, but he also knew that on some level, it was working. Suddenly, his girlfriend announced that she was leaving him and moved out the following week. He was devastated and shocked. For several weeks, he felt rejected, angry, sad, and confused. He couldn’t believe that she didn’t even discuss her plans but instead made a unanimous decision.

After about a month, he decided that it was time to move on and focus on what he did want out of life. He joined a tennis league, took some art courses, initiated a men’s discussion group, and eventually began dating again.

The result: He moved to another city, met a fabulous woman and is happily married. Too often, we stay complacent with what we have and ‘muddle’ rather than ‘get rid of dead weight’ and move on.

Frequently, when we are at our lowest point, when we believe that we are ‘finished’ – therein lies an opportunity that we are not yet aware of.

This story arrived in my inbox and illustrates the point.

THE LONE COW (author unknown)
A wise man was walking with his student and conversing about the importance of visiting new places and meeting new people, and the knowledge one can gain from these experiences. They came upon a very poor area and passed a rundown house where they saw a couple with their children.

All five were dressed in torn clothes and no shoes. The house was severely neglected. The wise man approached the father and inquired as to how he managed to survive in this impoverished area where there was no commerce or work opportunity. The man answered that the family owned a small cow that produced some milk; some of which they traded in the nearby town for other food, and the rest they used to make some cheese and yogurt for themselves. That is how they survived. The wise man thanked him for his honesty and went on his way.

As they walked on, the wise man told his student that he must go back, find the cow, and throw it over the abyss. The student was shocked and tried to convince his teacher that this would be a mistake, that it would surely destroy the poor family. The wise man listened and then walked away. Being faithful, the student went back and fulfilled his teacher's wish, but the picture of the cow falling down the abyss kept torturing him.

The student was never able to completely forget the incident. Years later he went back to see if there was any way he could help the family or possibly repay them for the suffering he had caused. As he approached the area, he immediately noticed a change, everything looked nice and well kept. He became very depressed and was sure that the family, after losing their one cow, had been forced from their house and land just to survive. He saw a new house in place of the old one, and as he approached the house he saw a vaguely familiar man.

He inquired about the poor family with the single cow that used to live there, and he was told that the same family still lives there. He then asked how they had managed to pull out of such dire poverty and become successful. The man smiled and told him that a few years ago their only cow had suddenly disappeared and that initially they were in shock; but as a result they had to develop new skills and find new ways to survive. The man admitted that the loss of the cow had been the best thing that ever happened to the family.

INVITATION TO EXPERIMENT
What are we holding onto that doesn’t serve us? What is holding us back?
-- Is it a relationship?
-- Is it work that you dislike?
-- Is it the place where you live?
What could you let go of that could open up space for something new, different, and potentially better to enter?

If you feel inclined, please let me know if you decide to go ahead and try this experiment. I anxiously await hearing about your experiences. Your feedback and comments have been most welcomed:-) Keep them coming!!

Very best regards,


marion@lifecoachinggroup.com
(c) 2004-09. All rights reserved. Marion Franklin, www.lifecoachinggroup.com
Comments? Feedback? lllfeedback@lifecoachinggroup.com

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