Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in one ahead. Bill Mcglashen

The impatient may not always be wrong on issues, but they are almost always wrong in their attitudes. R. J. Rushdoony

Waiting on a long line in the supermarket can be one of the most trying times. It gets worse when the person checking out has a mis-marked item or wants the sale price. Inevitably, we feel as though whichever line we have chosen, it must be the wrong one.

What makes this experience so exasperating? Typically, it's because we have so much to accomplish in so short a time and anything or anyone that interferes with our plan annoys us.

What if we could look at our behavior from another perspective?

I read a story about a woman who was in line at the supermarket and the woman checking out was holding an infant. Next thing she knew the check out person was holding the baby and the person behind in line was cooing and talking baby talk. Needless to say, everyone else in the line was getting irritated and frustrated and started yelling out to move along.

One irritated man in the line finally reached the register and questioned why the cashier got so involved and asked her why she didn't care that the line was long and didn't respect that people were in a hurry?

She explained that her husband had died in the Iraqi war and that each day her mother gets in line so she can have a chance to hold her baby while she's working.

Now, what are you thinking?

Sometimes we don't know why things happen as they do. Our impatience takes place in our head and in our body. We begin to stress and feel agitation if things don't move as quickly as we would like. This arises because we have ideas about how it 'should' be instead of how it is. And, some things are out of our control, so stress and agitation only impair OUR health. It has no impact on the situation and does not change the outcome.

How many times have you been behind a slow driver and started honking or feeling your blood pressure rise? What if you found out that the woman driving has a child in the car and she is on the way to the hospital and the sick child needs as smooth a ride as possible?

We may get annoyed if someone is late, but it doesn't help if we lose patience and get agitated. Again, we are the only ones who suffer, and it doesn't make the other person arrive any sooner.

A client was sharing how as a manager he gets so frustrated when his direct report doesn't understand what is required. He winds up repeating the explanation and instructions -- expecting a different result. Instead, he could take a moment to regroup or walk away and then come back and slowly explain what needs to be done (or explain it differently). Rarely do we take the time to do this, and ironically, we use more energy getting frustrated and still don't get the outcome we want. Other times, we wind up doing it ourselves and that usually builds resentment. Often, that little break is enough to face a situation that otherwise would be frustrating. As a manager, controlling impatience can inspire others to react calmly during times of high pressure.

By learning how to control our impatience and stay with what is, we enable others to approach us in situations where we may previously have been unapproachable. By not giving in to our urge to instantaneously react to a stressful situation, we may find that the situation isn't as bad as we thought, and more importantly, it could potentially affect a positive outcome.

INVITATION TO EXPERIMENT
- How often do we misinterpret the actions of others?
- Does our impatience blind us to what is happening right in front of our eyes?

Think of the times when you have gotten impatient and agitated and reflect as to how that had no definitive affect on the outcome other than your own irritation. The next time you are on a long supermarket line or stuck in traffic, I invite you to consider staying calm and realizing that getting distressed doesn't change the outcome.

If you feel inclined, please let me know if you decide to go ahead and try this experiment. I anxiously await hearing about your experiences. Your feedback and comments have been most welcomed:-) Keep them coming!!

Very best regards,


marion@lifecoachinggroup.com
(c) 2004-08. All rights reserved. Marion Franklin, www.lifecoachinggroup.com
Comments? Feedback? lllfeedback@lifecoachinggroup.com

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