When someone tells us a joke, particularly a long one, we anxiously await the punch line. When the punch line isn’t funny, we feel let down and disappointed that we listened to the whole story only to have such a flat ending.
Recently, I read an article about a situation with a coach and his client. Instead of the story going in the direction I had anticipated, it totally veered off and instead, spoke about some obvious things that were tangentially related. It was as if the beginning had nothing to do with the subject at hand.
The story was about a coach who realized that as he was stuck in traffic would likely not be on time for his client. Accordingly, he called his client from his cell phone to either change the time or reschedule. The client asked if the coach was driving, and he replied that in fact he was a passenger. The client then became enraged and claimed that his confidentiality had been violated and slammed down the phone. When the coach tried to contact the client to explain, the client did not respond.
The coach then made the story about the use and abuse of cell phones while driving. In actuality, there were many lessons in that short incident that were not addressed.
What can we learn from that experience?
-What was the likely trigger for the client’s anger?
-Was there inherent mistrust all along and this was a final straw?
-Was the client anxious to speak with the coach and share something?
-Was there something going on for the client that he didn't feel his appointment time was honored?
We could speculate forever or we could discover what we can learn from this story. The client stated that he felt violated. Perhaps the lesson resides somewhere around honoring the client's confidentiality, his time, and the appointment as scheduled. What also seems apparent is that the client was counting on the coach and felt let down.
In any relationship, especially a professional one such as coach/client, or employer/employee, doctor/patient, or teacher/student, there is an inherent understanding that when a time to meet is arranged, it will happen. If, for any reason that needs to change, we notify the other person. Additionally, as a professional, our responsibility is to maintain confidentiality. Personally, I find it disconcerting if I believe that someone else ‘could’ hear what I’m saying (i.e. speakerphone).
Yes, all of us have been stuck in traffic, and consequently, late for a meeting or appointment. Yet, if we have a professional obligation, it behooves us to plan accordingly and honor the client’s time. When a doctor keeps us waiting an inordinate amount of time for a scheduled appointment, we get agitated and annoyed. It feels as if we aren’t important. It’s as if OUR time is not valued. It feels disrespectful.
My guess is that the client was feeling some of that disrespect. Likely, the client felt as though the time set aside was not valued. It’s possible there was more going on, but we will never really know. What is important, is realizing that dishonoring a time commitment can invoke a lack of trust, a sense of disregard, and at the very least a huge disappointment.
I would also venture to guess that an immediate, sincere apology vs. trying to reschedule or change the time may have dissipated some of the anger.
We have different frameworks and experiences and for some, this may not have been a big deal. However, we can learn from this that dishonoring a professional appointment can have major consequences.
At the very least, after apologizing, perhaps we could offer something in return for not holding to the time. In the case of a coach, it could be one complimentary session or extra time for the next session.
INVITATION TO EXPERIMENT
How do you feel when someone keeps you waiting or cancels at the last minute?
What if you are running late or need to cancel, do you notify the person immediately, apologize, and/or offer something in return for the inconvenience?
Are you aware of the potential consequences and impact of missing an appointment?
If you feel inclined, please let me know if you decide to go ahead and try this experiment. I would love to hear about your experiences. Your feedback and comments have been most welcomed:-) Keep them coming!!
Very best regards,
marion@lifecoachinggroup.com
(c) 2004-08. All rights reserved. Marion Franklin, www.lifecoachinggroup.com
Comments? Feedback? lllfeedback@lifecoachinggroup.com
*NOTEWORTHY* -- Learn How to Say No - Boundaries AUDIO NOW AVAILABLE for EVERYONE - not just coaches. NO MATTER WHAT, check the WEBSITE.
P.S. If you enjoyed this issue, I'd love it if you'd spread the word. Do so by forwarding this to a friend and inviting them to subscribe at the Life's Little Lessons link. Thank you for continuing to read Life's Little Lessons TO READ PAST ISSUES Past Issues
Any relationship conflicts you want to discuss: family? friend? co-worker? boss? employee? Take advantage of a 30-minute complimentary phone "RELATIONSHIP MAKEOVER" discussion around any area of your life where you are feeling challenged.
**Laser Coaching Program**
NOW 42 ICF CREDITS TOWARDS CERTIFICATION as well as 6 per month after 12 weeks for EXPERIENCED COACH and NEWER COACH MENTOR PRACTICUM GROUPS (see below)
If you want to become a coach or are calling yourself a coach but deep down questioning your skill level, not feeling overly confident, need a flexible class schedule that fits into your current routine, and not willing to invest a great deal of time and money, then the
"Laser Coach Your Way to Sustainable Success" a 12-week program may be a great choice for you.
The program is limited to 5 people at a time for HIGHLY individualized and customized attention and has been very affordably priced so that it's easy to say 'yes.' For lots of details and TONS of testimonials (with a similar theme... gained confidence; great value), visit the website:
Laser Coaching Program.
ICF Pre-Approved credit towards certification - 42 CCEUs available.
Next group: SEPTEMBER, 2008. ONLY THREE (3) SPOTS LEFT! RESERVE IMMEDIATELY so that you don't get closed out.
**Learn How to Say No** AUDIO NOW AVAILABLE! RARE Opportunity for this topic!
Do you ever feel like you say yes when you mean no?
Do you fear confrontation?
Stay in unhappy relationships?
Put other people ahead of you?
Feel frustrated, resentful, taken advantage of?
Boundaries teach people how to treat us - what we will /will not tolerate. (see website link below for details)
This 3 hour class was DESGINED FOR EVERYONE and anyone - for yourself, your friends, family, or your clients. "Understanding and Setting Boundaries"
Audio is available on your computer or MP3 downloadable. "Understanding and Setting Boundaries"
Here's what one participant had to say about the classes: I admit I was a little skeptical. After all, I've been through the whole boundaries and co-dependency counseling thing. At my age, I was sure that my boundaries were in place, secure, and well defended. So imagine my surprise when Marion said one thing, during the first session, that hit me hard. Right in the chest. I'll never be the same - it had that much impact on me.
--Boundaries are THE number one problem in relationships.
I have a great deal of knowledge and material and have helped many people resolve struggles in their relationships.
This is an opportunity to help you or someone else feel freedom in relationships.
NO MATTER WHAT, check the WEBSITE to see if it is appropriate for you or someone you know!
Coach
With Confidence! -- Practicum Mentor Group**
6 ICF Core Competencies CEU's for every month of attendance
*N E W GROUP* -- EXPERIENCED COACH MENTOR GROUP - ACC, PCC, or MCC or formal coach training:
Tuesdays at 3pm - 4:30pm (noon PT)
MASTER coaching skills
JOIN the group and stay for as little as 4 weeks or as long as you like - 6 ICF CEUs per 4 sessions
Newer coaches and/or ACC, PCC (working towards or RENEWAL): Wednesdays at 8:30pm ET (5:30pm PT)
Ways to build your confidence and coaching skills:
Maximum 10 participants
-*-Want a place to share your client challenges and ask questions?
-*-Feeling a bit insecure about your coaching?
-*-Need a safe place to practice and get supervision?
-*-Want to keep deepen and lengthen client relationships?
Contact me or click this link for details.
**FREEBIE** Top 10 Ways to Know If You Are Getting Great Value From Your Coach
An easy to follow
step-by-step guide that ensures success even if you've never done a
workshop before.
Please check out:
"http://www.successfulworkshops.com"
The book has been written with the
"I'm not sure where to begin, How do I time it?, It's too daunting" person in mind and definitely includes plenty of examples, tips, and tricks for experienced workshop
presenters as well. All you have to do is plug in your topic (or one of the 3 topics from the book) and follow the seven steps and you will be ready to go.