"Akeelah and the Bee" is a movie about an 11-year old girl from the south side of Los Angeles who, against all odds, winds up winning a national spelling competition. At the core of the movie is the premise that we do not live up to our potential. Very often, it’s because we give credence to our deepest fears. Reasons why we allow our potential to go unfulfilled may include feelings such as: undeserving, inadequacy, or incapability.
Oftentimes, we believe that accomplishment comes with negative consequences. Possibly, we would lose who we ‘think’ we are, our identity and our image of ourselves. Typically, we confuse our identity with roles that we play (author, teacher, parent).
Many times we choose a career, a college, or a mate, believing that it’s befitting and that we are not worthy of a better option.
A client told me about her experience of picking a college as a music major. She specifically looked for schools that did not require complex auditions so that she would likely be assured of acceptance. In retrospect, she realized that she would have easily passed almost any audition because she truly has talent. Yet, at the time, she lacked confidence and believed that if she couldn’t do an amazing audition, she would feel like a failure. So rather than risking that feeling, she avoided them.
Sometimes the risk is perceived as terrifying so it seems easier to remain in what we ‘think’ is a safer place. We will choose a ‘lesser’ mate, an unchallenging career, or what we consider to be a comfortable and secure choice.
Far too often, our decisions reflect our fears. We wind up believing the ‘inner voice’ – the one that keeps telling us things like:
- You are not good enough;
- You don’t know enough;
- That’s for other people, not for you;
- You couldn’t possibly succeed at that;
- You have no luck, don’t even bother trying;
- No one before you has done it, what makes you think you can?
What allows some people to ‘go for it’ ?
What’s the magic secret (truth) that they believe that keeps them on a path to something greater? Think about people who are rejected over and over and refuse to give up. Think about people who despite the odds, persevere and eventually conquer. (FedEx, MacDonald's, Edison)
What is the common denominator?
No matter what, they believe in themselves. Even when faced with challenges of:
- the unexpected, many unsuccessful attempts, or
- others disagreeing or disapproving, or
- the feeling as though they are the only ones going in a direction.
They are willing to acknowledge their fear, face it, and move forward anyway.
They are not willing to stay in ordinary or worse. They come to grips with the fact that their fear or imagined discomfort is better than a potential lifetime of misery or defeat. By making a choice of not truly honoring your own needs, you remain in mediocrity.
The movie reflected "Our Deepest Fear" by Marianne Williamson "A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles." (often incorrectly cited as a speech by Nelson Mandela)
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of G-d. Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of G-d that is within us.
It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
INVITATION TO EXPERIMENT:
Things to think about:
Where are you playing small? Where are you not letting your light shine? What are you avoiding tackling? What change needs to happen so that you will be in your greatness?
--Is it your job?
--A project that you haven’t finished?
--An unwritten book?
What options are you avoiding because of your fear?
If you feel inclined, please let me know if you decide to go ahead and try this experiment. I would love to hear about your experiences. Your feedback and comments have been most welcomed:-) Keep them coming!!
Very best regards,
marion@lifecoachinggroup.com
© 2004-06. All rights reserved. Marion Franklin, www.lifecoachinggroup.com
Comments? Feedback? lllfeedback@lifecoachinggroup.com
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