There are many things that we do that are at one end of the spectrum that we don’t even realize it. There are things we do so consistently that we may not even see it as extreme. Fortunately and unfortunately there is something we can do to change that and find the middle or at least more of a balance. The unfortunate part is that often it requires going to the opposite extreme.
Here are some examples:
One of my clients was lamenting about watching way too much TV and not getting other things done. I asked him if he would be willing to not watch any TV for one week. After agreeing and keeping to the agreement, he noticed that he survived – with difficulty! It was after that week of total abstinence that he opened up to life without TV and as a result, he now makes better decisions on when and what he watches.
Another client was like Pavlov when the phone rang. He immediately answered it no matter what he was in the middle of doing. Again, we made an agreement that for one week he would let the answering machine pick up and take messages. It was okay if he returned the call immediately because the ‘habit’ or the extreme was always answering immediately – no matter what. Since that experiment, he now answers the phone when it’s convenient, when the caller ID signals an important call, or when he feels like it. The need to answer no matter what has been eliminated.
A personal example: My type of vacation or true relaxation is to go to an island where I can lie on the beach, swim, read and listen to music, take walks, have great conversations with new people and dance at night. Accordingly, that is the type of vacation I have consistently chosen. This year, however, as my daughter graduates from grad school, I let her choose a destination of her choice where we could go together. She chose Costa Rica which is known as an adventure vacation with a tremendous amount of moving around, packing/unpacking, hiking and sightseeing.
I was apprehensive at best and had to bring bug repellant, ponchos, binoculars, and only one carry-on suitcase, so I felt as though this trip was completely out of my paradigm. For those that know me, this was clearly not my usual style. Now that I’ve returned and survived :-), I can honestly say that I may not choose this type of trip the next time, BUT it has opened me up to seeing how the same old type of vacation could be more rewarding and exciting with some sightseeing and exploring. A combination of the two types would create more of a balance between pure relaxing and total sightseeing and will most likely be my next vacation.
The results of going to the opposite extreme is that once you have tried something completely different – and survived it, then you can see exactly where you are, where you have been and become more aware of the in-between and how that might benefit you. When we get locked into one extreme, we can’t see any other way.
INVITATION TO EXPERIMENT:
Think of something that you do absolutely, completely the same way each and every time. If you are willing, try the complete opposite, at least for a very short time, and then notice (after surviving) how you can now find more of a balance and how the extreme may now seem narrow and confining.
If you feel inclined, please let me know if you decide to go ahead and try this experiment. I would love to hear about your experiences. Your feedback and comments have been most welcomed:-) Keep them coming!!
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Very best regards,
marion@lifecoachinggroup.com
© 2004. All rights reserved. Marion Franklin, www.lifecoachinggroup.com
Comments? Feedback? lllfeedback@lifecoachinggroup.com
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