Manipulative Mind Management
(How marketing and our man-made language is skewed in their favor.)
Marketing is the new religion in today’s strobing world. It filters like dust to envelope every aspect of living, coating every message in layer-upon-layer of contrived languaging. Our inherited view of the world was cemented long ago, yet hauntingly lingers in the present to enhance, degrade, or neutralize the way we think, act, purchase, worship, vote, and procreate. Here are some clever examples of what forked-tongues can accomplish:
Jails are now called “Justice Centers.”
Republics are peddled under the registered trademark “democracy.”
The U.S. is at war, yet terrorists are not “military forces,” making them exempt from Geneva Convention rules governing torture of prisoners of war. Governing torture? Please, limbic morons…just admit you get off to inflicting pain.
War chants have been upstaged by mer chants. “Mer,” a derivative of “more,” makes more translation sense. “Chants for more”—more trinkets, more profits, more power, more perversity.
Even Einstein couldn’t come up with a formula for:
Women’s work=everything men don’t want to do.
How is the next generation going to clean up the planet and the messes we’re leaving for them when they can’t stand getting their hands dirty? Whoever created a market for battery-operated tub and shower cleaners should be flushed with embarrassing profits. Ten days to clean? How long did it take to dirty? How many people and pets died due to incurable tub-itis and shower scurvy in the interim? Is this really an important invention in a world where most people don’t even have running water?
In this Year of the Pig, what country would China most likely use as its poster child to depict the symbolic swine?
How many dead children does it take to equal one manhood?
Would biological warfare be acceptable to women if it included womandatory anti-testosterone injections for males between the ages of 11 and 69? (Test subjects and new words wanted.)
War depletes the male population both temporarily, and eventually, permanently. Marketers don’t care, because women are the primary shoppers anyway.
Competition for men due to this depletion causes women to react by altering their manners, attire, and physical appearances in attempts to attract at least their share of attention. The marketers deserve a great big smackeroo for the bang-up job they’ve done on pucker pumping! I fear that if lips get any bigger, cell phones will be engulfed and communication may halt altogether. Sorry girls—vulvas belong between the legs, not between nose and chin.
Clothing is disappearing at an alarming rate just when Sun is most likely to make “Juicy” run back to the tanning booth. In the words of Bill Maher, “It’s hard to tell the real whores any more.” Remember when “juicy” actually meant SunKist?
I would think intelligent people would protest their own annihilation, but marketers have won our total loyalty by breaking our hearts, introducing appetites, and emptying our wallets. Who needs mind control, Tom?
Ninety-three percent of all violent crimes are committed by males. That leaves seven percent for the non-violent criminals? Or seven percent for women and children?
The largest and most easily accessible commodity in the world is women and girls. In her book, Kabul Beauty School, Deborah Rodriguez discovers that one of the young students is regularly sodomized by her guardian—thereby keeping her virginity in tact for later sale to the highest dowry bidder. Talk about having your cake and eating it, too! And we believe them when they tell us we’re worthless whores.
The women of America have had enough of masculine abuse however, and along with leading national and state organizations, have filed complaints against the United States with the Inter American Commission on Human Rights. The “tip of the iceberg” case claims that U.S. courts have failed to protect the human rights of abused mothers and their children. Whoever would’ve thought we’d have to hang our man’s dirty laundry in public? But then the men have hung women and girls out to dry for eons.
My brand-new Merriam-Webster’s 2006 11th Edition Dictionary hawks its sales mantra on the jacket cover which proclaims “The Words You Need Today.” I happened to be looking up the word “curse” to see if women of yore left any clues as to how to conjure one for men, but instead I found the men had beaten us to the punch line.
“Curse” according to our male-oriented dictionary is defined as menstruation (as in the curse). I really had to laugh at the pretense of modernization where defining women and their biological functions are concerned. Maybe if we bend over and ask real nice, men will let us rewrite the tomes and words that have kept us interred in papyrus-lined coffins.
©2007 Lynne Sims
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