April 28, 2005


This Guide Gets You to Where You Want to Go
By Teddy Durgin
tedfilm@comcast.net

My subscribers often get on me for not reading the source materials that many of today’s movies are based on.  The “Lord of the Rings” books, the “Harry Potter” series your pick of the John Grisham, Tom Clancy, and Stephen King thrillers … I’ve barely read any of them.  No time, folks.  Not enough hours in the day (or, heck, the week).  These days, balancing family and friends, selling my house, buying another, and juggling the myriad of journalism jobs I work, I barely have enough time to read road signs much less entire novels.  Seriously, what is this Stop and Yield you people speak of?

So, it should come as no surprise to most of you that I have never read the late Douglas Adams’ “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” or any of the other books in the series.  I know, I know!  “Boo!” on me.  I also had not heard the original BBC radio plays or seen the old TV series that was produced in the early 1980s before previewing the new, big-screen adaptation of the “Hitchhiker’s Guide” story.

So, big-time Adams fans, take this review for what it’s worth and with a grain of salt.  I have read the criticisms online of those who feel let down by the movie version.  And, yeah, from everything I’ve heard, parts of the story have been left out, parts have been expanded on, and other parts have been made up entirely.  That’s show biz, folks.  Happens with just about every book made into movie.  That’s why I don’t read (I’m kidding, of course.  It’s really a time issue.  I was something of a bookworm in college.  I had to be.  I was an English major.  But, now, give me two hours in the dark with corn and a Coke).

Taken on its own terms, “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” is a splendidly quirky and entertaining sci-fi comedy that thankfully does not take itself too seriously--a good thing, too, considering that the Earth is destroyed in the first 10 or 15 minutes of the film to make way for an interstellar highway.  Escaping the obliteration is an alien travel writer named Ford Prefect (Mos Def) and Ford’s human friend, Arthur (Martin Freeman).  They escape by literally thumbing a ride on an alien spaceship, and that is where their adventures begin.

“The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” reminded me of many flicks while watching it.  It has the cheeky irreverence of one of my favorite comedies of recent years, “Galaxy Quest.”  Like “Hitchhiker’s,” “Galaxy Quest” was a really clever sci-fi send up that had a lot of fun tweaking and expanding on the conventions of the genre.  It also featured two of “Hitchhiker’s” stars, Sam Rockwell as the maverick President of the Galaxy Zaphod Beeblebrox and Alan Rickman as the voice of the depressed robot, Marvin.  In addition to “Galaxy Quest,” “Hitchhiker” has elements of “Monty Python,” “Dr. Who,” “Star Trek,” “Star Wars,” and “Men in Black” running throughout.  The humor, though, is VERY British, meaning that it is less gag-oriented and more ironic … certainly more dialogue driven that most of today’s fare.  I smiled a lot more than I laughed while watching the movie.  But, frequently, I did laugh out loud (particularly in one sequence where the main characters find themselves in a minefield where each new idea they have results in a shovel to the face from the ground below).

The film is structured in a way to allow for a broad range of comic stylings.  I have always been a big Sam Rockwell fan.  From his work in “Galaxy Quest” as the scared actor caught up in an intergalactic war to his more nuanced performances in “Confessions of a Dangerous Mind” and “Matchstick Men,” this guy has delivered some of the most interesting and charismatic performances of the past decade or so.  It’s just amazing that he hasn’t truly broken through yet and become as big as Jim Carrey and Robin Williams.  He is that good, and as the unhinged Zaphod, Rockwell is just a bundle of comic energy unleashed, drawing on such well-known figures as George W. Bush, Elvis, and Michael Keaton’s classic “Beetlejuice” character for inspiration.

At the same time, you have Freeman’s more reserved and subtle humor, playing a skittish, put-upon “everyman” trying to find his way in a new universe.  John Malkovich adds to the overall weirdness of the production with his role as a cult leader of a people who apparently worship the nose and end their prayers with “Ah-choo!” instead of “Amen!”  And then there is the more traditional movie humor of the Henson-created puppet creatures that populate the film, most notably the greed-incarnate Vogons who thrive on cutthroat commerce even as they waddle about their gigantic spaceships spouting what is regarded as the “third worst poetry in the universe.”

I think if you are a major, hard-core fan of the book version of the “Hitchhiker’s Guide,” you are not going to like this film.  It’s also not a movie for anyone with only a broad sense of humor, and I am speaking specifically of those who prefer pratfalls and fart jokes to sardonic social commentary and comic byplay.  However, if you are only peripherally familiar with the material or are being introduced to it pretty much for the first time as I was (and if a good script is a plus for you), you are going to really enjoy this movie.  I personally liked the fact that I didn’t know where the flick was going to take me from one moment to the next.  There is even a pleasant love story involving Arthur and a brainy Earthgirl named Trillian (the always welcome Zooey Deschanel) that drives the second half of the film.

That said, the film didn’t always work for me.  It tended to meander a bit in the middle, and there were definitely parts where people in the audience laughed at references that went right over my head.  And there is a cuteness that creeps in from time to time that didn’t quite make the overall film as endearing as I think all intended wanted it to be.  But the movie is certainly good enough for me to recommend it.  Even better, it made me want to pick up the book and experience Adams’ untainted vision and humor for myself.  So, a general thumbs up and thumbs out for this “Hitchhiker.”

“The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” is rated PG-13 for action, language, and thematic elements.

STAR WARS CELEBRATION III REPORT:  First off, let me just thank all of my non-“Star Wars” fan subscribers for sticking with me as I get this all out of my system this Spring.  Now, of course, “Star Wars” will likely never be out of my system completely.  But next month’s “Revenge of the Sith” is the last big-screen flick, and over the weekend I attended the third and most likely last “Star Wars Celebration” put on by Lucasfilm in Indianapolis.  And, man, what a par-tay!

Star Wars Celebrations are really not your average fan convention.  The media has played it up as the ultimate geekfest, and sure it was to some degree.  But it was a very family-friendly event, and I saw scores of people with their spouses and kids just enjoying the fun that the “Star Wars” saga brings.  I didn’t hitchhike from Baltimore to Indy.  But I did make it for one of the event’s four days, and here is my report.

I had been to Celebration I in Denver six years ago.  It was also fun, but the Powers That Be held it mostly outside at a former Air Force base under tents, and it rained and rained and rained nearly the whole time.  Celebration II in 2002 was held at the Indianapolis Convention Center, and it was a vast improvement on the Colorado experience.  Celebration III was even bigger and badder than the previous incarnations.

First of all, the number estimates quoted in USA Today and other publications were very likely true.  I would say the event drew at least 30,000 or more fans every day.  Fortunately, the positives were many and the negatives were very few (the retail side of things was badly botched, for instance).  The best and most exciting thing I saw was “Revenge of the Sith” producer Rick McCallum’s so-called “Star Wars Spectacular” show in which he screened six previously unseen minutes of the final film.  I will discuss this footage at length at the very end of this column (after the DVD review) for those of you who want to know specifics.  I wouldn’t dare give any spoilers away without fair warning.  Suffice it to say, this is going to be one massive film.

There were several large exhibit halls throughout the Center, and Lucasfilm made use of all them.  One was dedicated solely as an Exhibitor and Dealer’s Room, with official licensees and vendors from around the globe hawking everything imaginable with the “Star Wars” logo on it.  Another hall was dedicated just to autographs.  And if you didn’t want to get anything signed, most of the actors in attendance were more than willing to just chat with fans if they had a free moment--everyone from such biggies as Billy Dee Williams (Lando Calrissian) and Ray Park (Darth Maul) to such minor performers as Michael Sheard (Admiral Ozzel from “The Empire Strikes Back”) and Daniel Logan (young Boba Fett from “Attack of the Clones”).

Smaller rooms throughout the Convention Center were dedicated to round-the-clock screenings of fan-made “Star Wars” films.  There were some really clever ones in competition this time around.  Another room showed a continuous loop of “Star Wars in Pop Culture,” everything from Mark Hamill on “The Muppet Show” to an old and very cheesy Donny and Marie Osmond Show in which the toothy singers parodied (badly) “Star Wars” with Donny as Luke and Marie as Leia.  There was also an entire room set up for the Lucasfilm Archives that featured models, costumes, and props from all six “Star Wars” flicks.  I also enjoyed the enormous hall set aside just for local fan clubs that included a section for diorama builders and another for those who had outfitted their own personal cars and trucks to look like “Star Wars” vehicles.  You haven’t lived as a geek ‘til you’ve seen an old Chevy Nova tricked out to look like a makeshift Millennium Falcon.

Finally, in addition to the various actors interviewed on the main “Star Wars” stage, there were presentations throughout the day on the Making of “Revenge of the Sith” featuring the various visual effects animators, sound technicians, and conceptual artists involved.  Speaking of art, there was a special “Star Wars” Art Show in which renowned sci-fi and fantasy artists were invited to draw a special lithograph print just for “Celebration III,” limited to 250 pieces that were sold only there.  And speaking of shows, I peeked in on a “Star Wars” costume show in which fans were invited to compete for best fan-made costume.  I must have saw, like, 40 Leia in Slave Girl Bikinis, all in one place, and cursed my camera for being out of film.

Ah well.  The real adventure, of course, was the plane ride home with all of the Midwest storm activity Friday evening.  Thanks to the heroic efforts of my Southwest Airlines crew, I did make it back.  So, remember, spoiler coverage is at the end of this column.  And, no, I did not stay for Saturday when George Lucas was on the main stage doing three, 30-minute Q&As.  But I have read the transcripts, and I’m indeed stoked that--in addition to his other film projects--he will next work on a “Star Wars” TV show for 2007 that will be set between “Episodes III” and “IV” (“Revenge of the Sith” and the original “Star Wars” for the uninitiated).  So, the Force will go on, just not on the big screen.

DVD REVIEW: And, now, for something VERY different!  Here’s my review of the new DVD for … “Beaches!”  Yikes!  Seriously?  Yeah, that “Beaches.”  That dreaded 1988 tearjerker extraordinaire starring Bette Midler and Barbara Hershey that had people weeping worldwide as Bush and Dukakis were duking it out at the polls.  A special edition of the film is new in stores this week, and Durgin has the scoop.

Am I a fan of the film?  Uh, no.  It was too shameless in its manipulations then for me and certainly now.  It is extremely well-made, I’ll give it that.  And Hershey remains one of the screen’s more luminous presences.  But come on!  It’s “Beaches.”  I’m shocked the disc didn’t come wrapped in minced onions to get the tears started right away.  If you want a good cry (and you want to feel like crap afterwards), then “Beaches” is your flick.  If not, there are certainly other movies out there.

Still, the extras were interesting, even for this non-fan.  I enjoyed the Barbara Hershey screen-test footage and was intrigued for some strange reason to see the “Mayim Bialik Remembers” segment.  Yeah, she looks about like what you’d expect.  There is also an amusing blooper’s reel and the old “Wind Beneath My Wings” music video in case your stomach is upset and you really need to upchuck.  OK, on to more cool stuff:

EPISODE III SPOILER FOOTAGE REVIEW:

OK, in a word … WOW!  In two words, WOWEE!!!  YIPPEE!!!  YAHOO!!!! YEEEEE-HAWWWWW!  Alright, that was more than two.  Sue me.  This footage, this scrap from the Master's table, rocked!

McCallum did indeed show about six minutes of “Episode III” in a stunning, digital presentation.  The presentation was all music (mostly heart-pounding percussion of the James Horner “Aliens” variety), set to a montage of well-edited images that provided a basic chronology of the movie.  It appears to chronicle the final battles of the Clone Wars to the Purge of the Jedi to the Rise of the Empire.

Images that have stayed with me (in no particular order … I am still kind of in awe of what I saw): Chewbacca and Yoda fighting side by side (!); gorgeous shots of the Wookiee homeworld; the Clone Troopers turning on their Jedi commanders at the Emperor’s request; Yoda doing a backflip over two troopers who have come to kill him and decapitating them both with his lightsaber; much footage of the epic Duel between Obi-Wan and Anakin; Yoda and the Emperor squaring off, with Yoda taking it hard and then coming back strong; absolutely beautiful shots, both inside and out, of the Tantive IV (the Rebel Blockade Runner that Darth Vader’s Star Destroyer captured at the beginning of the first movie in ’77); glimpses of most of the 12 (!) planets and of the five (!) lightsaber duels featured in “Episode III;” and, finally, the first extensive footage of the villainous General Grievous, a multi-armed cyborg that will square off at some point against Obi-Wan Kenobi.  Rumor has it Grievous will fight with at least three lightsabers at once, maybe more.

Whew.  That’s enough for now.  I can’t tell you how positively sweet the new footage looked, projected digitally in wide screen.  The detail is just astounding.  There is a terrific fly-through of the opening space battle in which the camera swoops up and around in dynamic fashion and comes to rest right on Anakin Skywalker’s cockpit with him in it.  When ships explode in battle, it looks like you can see the pilot and his co-pilot droid amidst the disintegrating wreckage.  And I haven’t even mentioned the glimpses of Vader in full costume!